shutdown total

as i cease to exist
i seize what exists
as  a way to hold onto freedom
i try to learn what is real
it is impossible though
the slow
melt
of me into the smelter you see
the iron ore
the core of being something smaller than i once thought
is bigger than i ever imagined.
everything i ever had-to-have
crashes down on me-
a wave of veritable garbage.
Yet all Brand Name & New,
and as the guess who sings
American Woman
from their time machine
(what some might call a stereo)
i begin to fiend for
the beam toward
external eternality
mother f**k reality
i’ll be a martyr or just a casualty
casualy strolling, cops control on their patrol
so i roll to the right
keep it tight so i can fight what needs to be fought
so i roll to the left
because the death of my mind requires cess
brain dead f*****g base head
the cut is what you smoke
so it’s never pure when you toke
but i don’t give a f**k
i love to smoke
oak trees growing
where people once died
blood soaked ground
makes for a wild ride
i can no longer hide
behind the government dime and the corrupt cops prolonging crime
a positive feedback loop
the science is in the soup
the chicken in the coop
the military coup
teach you all how to sew
make some original dough
stop being a ho
to the middle mans
a few grams
to start with
move up to big weight
can’t fit through doors
and you break chairs when you sit down
s**t down the toilet
seems to come straight up your throat and out your mouth
get out of our house
this is not yours
i need my reperations just to pay rent
i’ve been sent
so much f*****g mail
i refuse to open it
i know i have a big f*****g mouth
i refuse to f*****g close it
and everybody f*****g knows it.

Author's Note

a bunch of the poems i've been posting recently are being transferred here from my myspace blog, and are a few months to a few years old. to me they reflect some of the changes that have occurred in both my life and my writing style. this particular period contained a lot of drugs. that said, in a lot of these poems i talk about drugs, whereas not so much in my new ones. which are the earlier ones i posted here. but i don't really know why i'm explaining all this. enjoy :]