farewell

07/2011

                         I run with a bad kind, seeking stratagem
                 the pressures of premonition leaks
              through the cracks in the glass
           that encases my heart from such defeat
        causing me to want to clean these streets
     like I clean my heat, thorough
protecting assets and making history

these lies I tell myself as
I lay in this bed I have made on
the cornerstone of a dissolving
establishment, marked for failure

        please wake up before everything crumbles
                             
before I have to leave you for dead
with the nameless corpses that lay 
sheer realization cuts me to the core
your concepts cannot escape you
               
shocked I stagger back to my environment
  utterly at a lose from the sight of you
    openly decaying away in front of me
      your aura seeps from you with every hit
         every flick of the flame that pulls you in
            it's so very sad to see that you've given in
                 I've lost you to the madness that plagues us

Author's Note

Reviews

[Lily Mae]

I'm kind of stumped on this one...at first I feel like he is a killer preying on those he hates..riding the world of the mess we've all created and then I get a different feel at the end.. like instead of being the killer your observing the behavior of people and how that alone kills us.. hmm lol.. And maybe I am a weirdo... idk.. Either way you provoked thought in me.. An excellent write..x

[Cassiopia Summers]

I really like this one, and I can understand it. Very well written, its an intriguing way to put such a topic.

Its a bit choppy in some places, however I kind of like how it makes the reading of the poem. Thanks for sharing this one!

[Jeremy Baker]

An interesting structure visually, with first rate imagery as well. Excellent and intriguing.

[Black]

I love the video.
i liked the poem, it is quiet unique
but yet insightfull,

It is hard to see your friends give into drugs,
but that is just my point of view

Regards
Black

[WatashLegend]

relentless in observation, wanting to do something but to no avail, great write Josh.

[Kaylor Mason]

I didn't watch the music video (no sound) but on the poem itself, it looks like someone who is watching his friend give in to drugs. He's watching his pal get eaten alive by their darkness. That's one way to look at it, i guess

[Spookers]

It is different. I will give you that

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

I see this as a great sadness penned about possibly a friend who has given into the darkness. I like it.

[Alicia Hirshey]

Favorited.

[Maimai]

with Lilly on this one.

[Coyote Poetry]

Good music and amazing poetry. I like the way you expressed your feeling in the worlds.
these lies I tell myself as
'I lay in this bed I have made on
the cornerstone of a dissolving
establishment, marked for failure

please wake up before everything crumbles "
Thank you for the outstanding poem.
Coyote