My Best Life

In a way I am content

I dont deserve richness in the end

I had a life of beautiful dogs

Once I was deathly afraid and my dad righted this wrong

Now I sit here on my couch thinking about this song written by the hands of God

I wish to thank you for all I got

All the ones I loved so much

I know I am not perfect and I wish I could be

I still thank you for breathing life into me

Maybe all we need to do to make it better is to love a little more

Maybe together we can kick in this stuck door

He tells me he is abused

I am still so confused

Why not choose the one who loves you?

I also wonder would it be the same

Would we still miss each other so much if we were granted every night and day

I dont push it

I dont want ever for life to take him away

Yet after this week its inevitable truth we all have to face

I said goodbye to many beautiful loves even for me there is no escape

My dad, my lola, grandparents, aunts, boyfriends, cats and dogs

I am no true angel from above

I am no butterfly

Yet I wish I could be

I could find my dogs when they are lost

Hear when they are stuck somewhere

how do you fight death the battle doesn't compare

Death wins every time

Yet he doesn't gloat for death there is no prize

He does his job

He comes to collect

Whether foe or friend

I think about us the other day he was complaining about his heart

He was eating ramen every day he tells me though we should be apart

Thats surely a recipe for a gray place

I thought if something happened how can I know

I am his secret child he loves the most

Its a sad thing what we have

Its not what I chose

Yet i cant control

I cant be with or without him

I can only hope that in each kiss

He would know I still love him, its him I miss

Yet all we have is this

 Still I am thankful for a moment, for in that short time

In those minutes and hours I lived my best life