chaos

I spent a year as a dark spot on the wall of a clock

your pendulum attraction coming in and Estes, early

we hiked up to the ruin of a cabin and you took pictures.

you weren’t supposed to

 

sometimes with not enough sleep and sometimes you lift

me up I remember rocks and your pockets full of change

like bells, scissors you used to undo the stitchings

I didn’t want you to

 

I couldn’t hold you, you were a waterfall concealing a cave

your mermaid hair thin and brittle like birdsongs threatening

silence.  eidolons in their foxfire tombs split the white water

into forks and your tongue forking, choose or don’t choose

 

scatter or don’t, one day a frenzy of moths in my bedroom

at the end of the hall, the next a heap of undulant fur, wet

and heaving. You were only sure as summer, your warmth

scheduled to fade.