Homecoming

Forgiveness is a funny thing…

I carry my mistakes as stones in my jar

one the heaviest I’d held since freshman year

when I wounded someone in the worst way

that stone was granite and rough on the edges

tinged with green like the hills above our town

it would cut me every time I reached inside

I’d wake at 2 a.m. sweating, and hear it clink

I had no idea how to rid myself of the weight

spent hours in my head composing apologies

but never sent them, never knew how, the words

every step I took in my life, my feet spread

just a little more, my jar heavy on my shoulder

 

But then I met her again, twenty-four years later

and before I could show her the stone

all the places it had scarred me,

she laughed, took it from my jar, and threw it

across the softball field

called it childhood bullshit, which I guess it was

now every step is lighter, my feet spread less

and there’s one less stone,

one of the largest ones,

to cut my fingers and

rattle in my jar