Lingo

“Them girls always say they want a nice guy, but they don’t, man. They want an a*****e, someone with a complicated history and an arrest record. They want someone to fight with, someone to be mad at, someone to piss and moan to their girlfriends later over whiskey, ‘where are all them nice ones?’ They want meat, someone who puzzles over grammar on Facebook posts and laughs at all the same stupid s**t everybody else laughs at. They want ‘em rich; but it don’t matter if they ain’t got a pot to piss in as long as they have the right height, them good tattoos, the proper bulge below the belt, and they look good in a selfie. Nice guys, we lose out ‘cause we care, girls only want them guys that don’t give a s**t about nothing. They want someone who hides their phone and won’t look no one in the eye. They want someone who goes out with friends to get loaded down at Poor Red’s, and leaves them alone at home. They want someone who pukes in them rosebushes after bragging loud glazed eye in the bar. They want to have a good damn reason to get pissy all the time, a reason to think their life sucks balls; ‘where are all them nice ones, them good ones, them ones who don’t cause static, them ones who love so hard they dissolve into water?’ Poor me, piss and moan, drink some whiskey and b***h to the b*****s, wondering what it would feel like to f**k the bartender in revenge; right height, right tattoos, good bulge. Let’s face it, brother, them girls always say they want a nice guy, but they really only want a guy that don’t want ‘em back.”

Reviews

[R.E. Ray]

JR, below the crafted vernacular, I find considerable depth in this poem. This is two-sides to the same coin. Women and men can be shallow, and that's what I read here. Much of what the narrator mentions is about what he sees and hears, not what lies in the head and heart.

What you've described are women who've been damaged in the past, maybe from past trauma or bad relationships. They're not really that shallow. That's just what they're willing to show the public. They don't let the good ones too close because they don't trust and they don't expect any "good ones" actually exist. And, the men they seek are equally shallow. They've probably had some trauma that messed up their heads earlier in life.

Here, it seems the "hot mess" seeks only the other "hot mess." Without a PhD in psychology and lots of time to work through the drama, I say it's best to avoid such women at the bars. They might be there just to drown the trauma. I think your last sentence is on-target, though they might not realize it.

[JR]

Thanks man. I was shooting for the feel, the irony of bitching to a friend about a woman bitching to her friend. The whole thing is shallow and pointless, and I'm trying to use the vernacular to help make that clear. Appreciate the read, as always. And I have a hard time avoiding such women pretty much anywhere lol.

[R.E. Ray]

My pleasure. As for the "such women," they make good poetry. Keep writing!