Coalesce

This poem is about feeling like you have been keeping the most important parts of yourself looked up tight, and the moment when you can't hold back any longer.

I suffered a seizing of the heart,

A freezing in my cage.

I stood pristine and calm;

A mock-up for the new age.

But still it would beat

Like nothing else would chance.

I felt a tugging of need

Within my enclosed expanse.

It thrashed and it clawed,

Rapidly coming to rest

Just outside my frame

Freedom tasting its best.

As a being, we finally won,

But it was not the end I sought.

The darkness was feared,

And yet, I did not feel distraught.

Reviews

[Pushkar Prabhat]

WoW!!!
Brilliant imagery...........
amazing description of when we can not hold back any longer.......
quite profound.......
"Coalesce" is a new word for me.......thank you for the intro.....it is beautiful.....

very well written and rhymed.....
i loved it!!!
:)

[J.S. Kloss]

I'm thrilled you liked it so much! Thank you for reviewing! :)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

You are welcome...........!!! :) :)

[Gene]

Enjoyed everything about it... Great poetry.

[Maddy Stillman]

This poem intrigued me before I even opened it to read. "Coalesce" is a marvelous title and the word will definitely be a new addition to my vocabulary. I like your use of alliteration in each of your stanzas. There were one or two lines that felt a bit choppy to me, where succeeding lines strayed in the number of syllables, but maybe I just didn't quite catch the rhythm. Overall, though, great work -- I really enjoyed it. :)

[J.S. Kloss]

Thank you! I thought the title would be an attention-grabber and I'm glad it worked. And yeah, you're right about the rhythm. I like the way it sounds without a set number of syllables in each line, though, so I didn't try to fix that.

[Ankur Jain]

moment which lasted an age...
leaving you a perception, making you a sage.
this is perhaps a poet's curse
taking a simple instant of cold,
and turning it into a verse...

[Sharon L.H. Kelly]

And there it is...Sweet freedom, when we finally let it out. Nice rhythm, rhyme, and flow. Enjoyed!
PS. we got 3 inches of snow yesterday in the Adirondacks!

[J.S. Kloss]

Thanks for the review! And sorry to hear about the snow! The brutal cold there is the reason I fled to Arizona for college hahaha

[jeannemarie coulter]

very fine poem...much enjoyed word tapestry...well worth reading...

[J.S. Kloss]

Thank you!

[Theodore Tessensohn]

Well written poem! Thumbs up for you. Keep up the good work J.S.Kloss and I look forward to more of your work. :)

[J.S. Kloss]

Thank you so much! I look forward to reading your work as well!

[Theodore Tessensohn]

Please feel free to do so. It would be an honour for me if you gave your opinions and reviews of my work. :)

[Misery]

Interesting creation. I hope you will share more of your distraction writing with us.
Are you seeking a major, or letting a major find you?

[J.S. Kloss]

Thanks for commenting! My major was Computer Science, but I started to feel like it wasn't for me. I need more of a creative outlet for a major, but I'm afraid that I won't be able to get a job after college!