The Dime Against the Grain

See how long you can last before you skip to the end.

The effervescence of your incorporable likeness is self-aggrandizing

Into the lavation I shall travel.

Cease

Not.

Those clouds above

They are bowling.

I would bet all of

Your money

That I could

Press an ant

Into eternity.

My wastebasket

Is art.

I call it

The Immaterial Oppressive Regime of the Proletariat.

A bug sits on a leaf

It’s just sitting there.

I wonder what it’s thinking

As it just

Sits there

On that leaf

Unmoving

Doing the opposite of moving

Which is just sitting there

Or standing there

Or whatever verb you want to use

Whichever you use

It’s just

Unmoving

Unmoving

Because it isn’t moving

Because in order to be

Not

Unmoving

Otherwise known as

Moving

It has to

You know

Move

At least a little bit.

It actually doesn’t have to move

A lot

In order to be considered

Not unmoving.

But in order to be considered

Unmoving

It has to be perfectly still

Perfectly

Unmoving.

Even the teensiest flicker

The most minute shift

And suddenly it’s gone

From unmoving

To moving.

Dirt is sun

Dirt is sun

Dirt is sun

Dirt is sun

Dirt is sun

Dirt is sun

Dirt is sun

Dirt is sun

Dirt is sun

Girt is sun

There is a shiny crash.

In truth, I am the opposite of outgoing

And it’s too late to shift from this draconian mindset.

The green carpenter loaded his carpet

Into his truck

In a way that is permissible

But he was replaced anyway.

How observant of you.

Rejoice authority!

For in this righteous yard there lay

A hammer.

Funny.

It’s false.

The fence fell down.

The chilly chill sent it

On vacation.

An ill-fated one

Without a camera.

My sister is gaping at the same

Living thing

Alive

Despite its violent upbringing

And rapidly inventing

The plough for frogs

Marching succinctly past the cars

Toying with lace

And threatening the government

With its nasty peg leg.

Up the hill

Goes the dime

Against the grain

And its tasty meal

Burns dad’s tongue

It has crossed the line

And made his condition worse;

An imaginary one to be sure

But that is no excuse

Like an airplane

Being tiny.

And as I do what I’m supposed to do

And subtract from the arguing blot

I will take all the seemly changeable decorum

And shatter all the hope that exists upon the shelf

With bunch a single punch.

Wild.

The playground is subdued today.

The elfin trail

Far from being known to the public

Was actually a back path

For dinosaurs’ voices.

What a bore

To flip a pan.

Super.

Take this delicate

But gaudy shirt

And rip it

Just to see how tough it actually is

Otherwise you’ll have to be big

And admit that the only way that

You can soothe your wounds

Is to take a beer can

And dance with it

Like it’s an undesirable hag.

Want to let off some steam

And haunt your arresting officer?

Then take a metal coil

Set it in between two books

And stare at it

Until the two are married.

Then they’ll go after each other’s throats

Fumbling around and all that fancy stuff

Until they decide to spend some time in a cemetery

And after paying off they’re debt

They can finally have themselves a real somber time

By pacing atop a pig’s grave

And following close behind

A shaved sheep

Agonizing over his lost weight

Knowing that he will have to start over.

Are you available?

And now, here stands this wide-eyed

Resolute

If perhaps slightly tenuous,

But still remarkably fair

And quite political

Not the least bit abusive

Honorable Judge

A rather clever man

Who would nonchalantly

Disapprove of doing such things

Like for example

Closing off a bridge

Simply because of a direful situation

Like the roads being icy.

Mom!

Iron my shirt

So that I may have a chance

To feel woozy tonight.

The abject failure

At the mere suggestion

Of not being able to hold on to the lovely

Albeit slightly smelly

Gal of mine, who has a cold steep influence.

Everything is imminent.

Take all the babies

And put them in a few volleyballs

Floating away.

I saw a pest this afternoon.

Internally, I was for the grey loaf

To be taken to a far away, enchanted land.

A desk

Large

Just sits there in such a pleasant manner

That I will wipe it up with the sun

Sneakily

Until it is spotless and silky.

The press had a desire

To finish the tour

Of the President’s daughter

And blind her were flashes.

I was delighted as the simplistic

Pour of the naughty beverage.

And as I set upon a voyage

Aboard a boarded ship

I wolf down eight yummy

Loafs of bread

As my flight and my quest began.

I took the fanged man

And I scattered his remains

Among the wind.

And then I dropped

The abrasive

Yet remarkably handsome

Woman with whom I’d had friction

Into a potato farm

To which she found most delightful

Or so I have been told from people who are familiar with her now.

I have to ask for those who are descriptive in your prose

Are you not aware of how shrill

Not to mention quirky

When you write your stuff down on your file hydrant?

And here lies the psychotic individual

Who made the mistake of irritating a drawer

And letting the filthy thing rot away and then slamming that thing with a bang.

Icicle equals death.

Would you rather have a pot of gold

Or a gram of sugar?

Decide now

Otherwise your youthful self will have no other option

But to admit that thou art crooked.

Those sad Kleenexes made my nose puffy.

I hate to be the one to inform you that that doctor was a quack

Who thought that Theseus’ ship was very real.

A silo filled with corn.

Angled in such a way to crush the donkey in a didactic manner.

Okay, so maybe I’m a touch onerous

But can you blame me when violet is my favorite color?

I went down to the stockyard and bought some aluminum wholesome.

I was poised in such a position that my friend could

With very little prompting

Take my bag of pudding pops away from me.

In my experience, throughout all my years of living and the like

I should note that I have never once had my jeans talk back to me

No matter what the weather is like, nor how smoggy it is.

The canvas just sits there upon a throne as if it were some sort of alcoholic drink

Painstakingly watching the seconds tick by on a wall clock

As the chef makes a roll up the hallway

Fully aware that she is intentionally muddling the rug.

If you want to lighten load

Make sure you trim the fat first

Otherwise you may be responsible

For a roller coaster losing the plot

Tumbling off the stage

And being declared one of the most ruthlessly overrated things in existence

And ruin you.

You’re welcome.

I took it upon myself to personally ban all the numberless quiches

That we were are all a slave to

As if it were an arch that was simply okay with maniacal laughter.

It’s rather spiffy.

If I do say so myself.

You’re out of control.

Let it pass.

I have a collar for you

To let this humdrum fade away.

I suspect

I have your pets

Because there is an earsplitting pain

In my foot.

Tame.

I’d say that’s rather handy.

That’s mine.

I have a separate wall

To let the warm come over me.

I suppose that was a rather elegant way of putting it.

That this ring and free me from this rainstorm.

I will unfasten this screw to avoid how disillusioned I have become.

I will skate, knowing how spectacular and graceful the educated can be.

What a pathetic cut!

I ate some tent paste earlier because I thought it was a vegetable.

Does anyone really know how to add?

Stay away!

There is stuff in here being whispered that no one need not know.

Coal is food.

Coal is food.

Coal is food.

Coal is food.

Food is coal.

Is food coal?

What a lazy sentiment!

That’s the rule.

Smash the vase.

No that’s wrong.

She’s domineering.

Five hundred forty two is a number.

Let me scream.

I have a snake in my fingers

Attached at the hilt.

Don’t you agree?

I suppose that if there were some kind of competition that made it even the least bit probable

That an invention would allow the fragile cave to let all the bats loose

That I could get great joy at hearing the screams fade away as I collect loose change.

The took the blue yarn away from my sister and teased a lie that I spit all the time.

Upward motion.

I suppose it makes a little bit of sense to be just a teensy bit judicious

Or else the volcano will erupt and the jewel shall be lost forever do to your incompetent fax.

Art is fun.

Discover all the questionable doors

Which are not pipes

And allow the murky grieving aunt to become fearful of the fireman juggling gigantic chainsaws.

I have songs in my sleeves.

If you want to take my squeeze

I can offer you something for a rather solid price.

How robust!

There’s something about working profusely

That would not be permitted

By the Count.

Heal him!

So that he won’t need insurance.

How swanky!

Now

Now

Now

Don’t be nervous

You’ll drive yourself crazy

As you stretch from grin to grin

And concern the chalk on the floor

In such an innate manner

That it is rather

Stupendous.

Man!

I have a cast on my tongue.

Makes my voice raspy

As if I had bait in my cheeks

Holding steadfast.

Never be afraid of a hug

Especially from a tiger.

Mom is orange.

Does she have jaundice?

Is anything more not exciting in all the world

Than to introduce yourself to a door

As it just sits there all unnatural like

Despite its reputation for its enormous ego.

There is no reason to be so hateful

Unless of course you want to

In which case go right ahead.

I never understood afraid.

Tis nothing more than a mere mammoth the size of a flea

Who above all else wanted nothing more to find a loss

So that it can disagree and scream at the thing about how stupid it is

That people find cork boards creepy.

There is a bite

And I want you to be grateful to me for it

That I was able to make this happen.

Help a heap.

Never let the rabbit squeal

Or it’s axiomatic

That the rabbit’s teeth will be the end.

And it’s at last I found out where the tank belongs to.

There was a billowy field where the grass grows down.

I have a sack full of flashy cats.

What makes them so flashy?

I suppose it was the fact that they had platinum in their teeth.

What makes courageous?

That’s the whole point; it’s a myth.

Shocking, isn’t it?

I had a bunch of chickens attempting to mend the sidewalk

Until the damp gave them a rather nasty cough

And they got the sheep so sick

That the size was reduced by forty one percent.

Does anyone know how to amuse a muse?

Nasty stuff, that cough syrup.

One sip and you’ve had your fill

And now the bottle is far-flung

Literally.

My mother screams at me “Clean up your tidy room!”

And so I take a truck to it.

This may raise some questions

But more importantly

I would rather admire the physique of a power strip.

Is there a treatment for the unhealthy

Or do I have to shiver in order to get a quiet cup?

There’s something a little bit slow

About yielding to the nearest comforter.

I don’t mean to be flippant

Dear

But be equable

Or I will make these polka dot dressed bumpy.

You want something to be groovy?

Set it in the dark

X-ray the thing

And see if it’s hollowed in the center

For you see

It’s impolite to ask if it is.

I feel torpid

And I expect the parsimonious landlord

To puncture my muscles again.

Brawny no more.

No it’s not fallacious

It’s hellacious.

Don’t be so ignorant

With your ad hoc attacks.

Don’t leave me hanging

Off of this moor.

That the pine tree away from me

And peel it’s skin away.

Scare away the kids.

It’s a bit nippy out here

Underneath the cherry blossoms.

I don’t care if this is jumbled

I still find it alluring

Perhaps even hypnotic

To an extent.

I own a basket of night.

There is no comparison.

Where’s the rest of it?

I knew that you could only be lucky

Before the kittens started calling you

“Magnificent.”

I have a foot

And I used it to light a match.

Underneath the ice

Is an accessible route

With which to reach the chicken

Who goes by the name

“Monsieur Tongue.”

I had both a glass of wine and a glass of milk

With my dates.

I was the edge about whether or not my nose was five inches too long.

There’s a real buzz about the tremendous effort

Of shutting down the track.

I never knew just how many people were so

So

What’s the word

Dependent.

Or maybe damaged it a better word?

I had a cat that I called Spot

And she succeeded at being quite garrulous.

Some might even say

Defiant.

I needed an adjustment.

Reach up!

Balance on that beam!

It’s easy.

It’s glowing!

Go into space and asphyxiate yourself!

There was lumpy stuff in the potatoes

I think they were cactus.

I still needed to eat dinner

And I know better than to be needless

So I touch my food with my cheek

And dance on the table

Until I am given the check.

How naïve I was.

I thought I would be given a discount

But I was wrong.

So I gave him the title to my car

And figured that would suffice.

It didn’t.

So I was force-fed gallons and gallons of organic ice cream

Until I was vomiting.

Nice.

I want to be able to toke put my head in a stove

And live to tell the story.

Is that so much to ask?

Lettuce

Excuse me

Let us do what we want.

There’s an ice pick somewhere about

And it has taken the form of a quarter

Of a pan of boiling water.

That was such an abortive analogy.

Is it possible that I’m not as pumped as I want to be?

I want there to be a glistening

Pointless however it may be.

The duck has been roasted

But was then immediately abandoned

Just in case you’re wondering if they were

Not keen on baking.

Man, you’re so husky.

I sit on a sofa.

I wave to the chef.

I fasten my belt.

And on the whole

I would say that there’s something mighty special

About preserving concrete.

Does knowing science

Make you knowledgeable?

Can an unsightly earthquake

Be striped like a zebra?

How can I attract

The attention

Of a porter?

Make a scene

No matter how tawdry?

Paint myself so that it looks like

I am a character in a black-and-white movie

Like Humphrey Bogart?

Or maybe I hit a double right out of the park?

Slip on a bar of soap white?

Whatever the case may be

I would suggest that you not judge me

For all the good things that I’ve done

I’d rather be judged on all the things I’m ashamed of.

I like trains just a little bit too much.

I get anxious when I’m away from them for too long.

Put your affairs in order

Before you’re kaput.

That ought to terrify you;

Spraying the field.

I tried to warn the obedient, famous, and clumsy actress

That she gets no respect

When she tries to hang a photo

Of a drowned brick

On the wall in her house.

I cannot support that

And think most decent hardworking people can’t either.

There is something panoramic

About this system

At the airport;

I had a pet rock

Named Francis

That I threw like a wide receiver

At her head.

How quaint.

How simple.

I’m bored.

Entertain me, plebs!

I know there’s something vigorous

About retiring.

I own an oval.

Like an actual oval.

Not something oval shaped

But the actual oval.

It’s mine now.

It’s flat.

And lonely.

And surprisingly forgetful.

I went out dancing in the waves

And when my interest waned

I ceased pedaling.

Riddle me this;

You will satisfy them.

Disastrous results

Will arise

From the abaft

If you were to impulsively

Leap from the ratty dinghy.

Bump.

Bump.

Bump.

Well how about that;

There was a rod in my hand this whole time!

I think I shall frame it

And unite everyone together.

I want to play a game of marbles.

I never did when I was a kid

And I feel like I’m missing out

Even if it does seem kind of lame.

I bet kids are like giants to the marbles.

I let everything run amuck because I felt like it.

The ghost stood on the back porch

In a superficial kind of way

But still functional

Wagging his finger

At the shaggy mutt

Because it messed up

By taking a bathe in the sun.

I would advise you

If you were angry

To not bounce over to the zoo

For you see I left my elbow there

When I went on a class trip.

This is what happens you don’t take care of your body.

Perfect.

I live in a rural area;

It’s not really that frightening

Aside from literally everything about it.

Smile!

Darn ya!

Smile!

I want to yell from the basement

Underneath my collection of stockings.

I bathe in beef

From time to time.

I find more endurable

Than those womanly perfume baths.

The only problem with it is that it makes me sneeze.

I was a visitor once.

It made me appreciate

How envious

People are of my abode.

My cheeks are a little bit itchy.

Time to scratch it with a knife.

Well don’t be so enthusiastic to volunteer.

Scattered about the room

Is a teeny bit of chocolate

Which I gave to my pal Skip

Who found the whole thing rather splendid.

I don’t want you to be disturbed

But there was an attempt

To strip

That athlete’s accolades away from him

Because of something he did

At some event

Long ago.

Well I’ll be go to the moon

I happen to like grape milk.

It takes the shape of a savory shepherd

Dressed all dapper like.

I don’t know why everyone be teaching

The Earth is round

When the Earth is a hexagon.

Does that resonant with you?

For you see

It’s a common stereotype

That rednecks put

Inside other people’s mailboxes

Tomatoes

But my calculation

I can guarantee you

That it’s not true.

I know your itching for it to be so

But it ain’t.

I took the tightfisted old man

And put him next to a mass

Of gelatin

For him to wrestle with.

It was such a fantastic activity

To watch him

Reason with this gruesome thing.

It melted on the spot

From his words.

I have to admit

It was a little bit scary.

Do I exist?

Baseball can be fun.

It’s an old ancient sport

That’s best enjoyed

Next to an oceanic view.

It’s only natural

To sedate yourself with beer

Rather than develop

A parched throat.

On the wire

Sits some birds.

What is this thing?

Actually, I don’t want to know.

Be a rebel

And don’t smoke pot.

I don’t want to be anywhere near that sweater

That boring

Yet surprisingly dazzling

Sweater.

Is there anything to enter?

Like a flimsy door or a country contest?

I was to fall up a mountain.

I don’t care if it’s callous to me to say

I want to soak in a tub full of heavy beads.

How majestic of you

My chubby enemy!

Go into the shallow end

And paddle

Your terrible tot

With scissors.

Shy.

Shyness.

I’m going to lock myself up in my room with cable

And only come out when I need something.

Now, very briefly

Go out and buy me some clams

So that I may harm myself.

I’m in the bedroom.

What does truculent even mean?

The opposite of agreeable?

That frightens me.

I need to keep my guard up.

I am deeply sweltering.

I now own a cheap meaty spider.

How grotesque!

Don’t be so hysterical.

Cry only when it is of use to you.

Otherwise no one will be receptive of you.

The road isn’t uneven.

Terrific.

Now it will be crowded.

Hold on to your seat.

Nothing is defeated yet.

Do your part

And buy some war bonds.

I’m concerned

That a minute

Is not sixty seconds.

There are four seeds in this fruit

I forget what it is called

Because I need to protect its identity

In my cellar.

My snails are wakeful.

They are quite the achievers

As quills.

Absolutely unbiased

But still quite soggy.

I collected coins and put them in a bucket

And at last

I had enough to placate my chief concern

My lack of bubble gum.

Yay.

Unequal wheels.

Wait.

How can a wheel be unequal to another wheel.

My head hurts.

I need some rice.

Rush over and give me a bowl overflowing with that curious morsel.

What’s that?

A measly three?

Magically, the rest have vanished?

Go screw some screws on a safe

You spineless jellyfish!

Take your flag

And impale this jar

Of sloppy joes

With it.

Willows are evanescent.

I want you to chase this craven duck

Away from me.

This shirt is very stiff

Not very befitting of me

And it smells bad

Sort of like

Rotten milk

And it has a hole in it.

I like the foamy material on top of frozen coffee.

Into the hollow hole I shall commence standing.

The carriage disappeared

And the driver suffers from delirium.

Go around the curve

You vulgar, vile woman!

You think you’re so gorgeous!

I had to drag myself out of bad

Sorry

I meant bed

Today.

Refuse to be neighborly

If they aren’t neighborly back.

The berries collapsed.

I quite enjoy fall

Although I prefer the word autumn.

Why so upbeat?

Are you going to do this live?

In addition

To all the pancakes

That are acceptable

To eat

It is quite known

That moldy hair

Is what you get

For wandering

Away from the minister’s brother.

If you don’t want to be skinny

It’s my belief

That you should gorge on mints

Under the tree.

Ignore everything you’re smelling.

Who’s erratic?

What’s embarrassed?

Can you print that request?

Stay in your bubble

Fool.

When you wreck

Frequently

The value

Of the car

Goes down.

Take a breath.

The rabbit in the bushes is lush.

Don’t be woebegone.

Listen to the

Drip

Drip

Drip

Of the water as it

Whirls

Down

The

Drain.

There is a plan.

Take the badge

Off the coat

And injure the goat.

How puzzling

And psychedelic

Is the morning.

The furniture

Will need to carried away.

Don’t just shrug

Like some ill-informed cook.

I have a soda

Rich in vitamins and minerals.

It’s mine.

Pump that stuff

Into my ear.

There’s a party

On the calendar.

What is growth?

Something to encourage

Even without a license.

Here’s a riddle for you.

What has legs

Is useful

But sleepy

Lives on the street

Hates to race

And owns an abrupt vessel?

No idea.

You figure it out.

Open the window

To see a view.

It’s rather scintillating

Isn’t it?

Now it’s time to visit the ice cream shop.

Thou shalt not tempt me!

Nothing and everything is obsolete.

Mind the discovery!

Cabbage is cuddly

For it has a tail.

Make certain to

Stir out

All the stems.

Your precious watch

Is sticky

And goofy

And it looks dumb on your wrist.

Whip the snail into shape

Until it’s bawdy.

Complain about it.

You claim

That the way

Is through the pail.

What sort of hapless fool do you take me for?

Transport the chain

By kicking it

On a regular basis.

Bless the diligent cloudy clouds.

That’s a distinct

And flagrant

Violation of trust.

It’s not only pale

But also a little abhorrent

And a lot hilarious.

There’s a show

With a 63% chance

Of giving you cancer

From secondhand smoke.

It’s at the amusement park.

It’s not adaptable

Unfortunately.

The burly homeless woman

Is a teensy bit tranquil.

I need to bury the son in blood

Or else the blade is going to be mixed up in this

Somehow.

The receipt;

Gaze upon it!

Gabby

Is going to pray

On the paint

In the glove compartment.

What a pleasure!

Prepare

The gleaming

Pile of cheese

To be eaten

In a single year.

Quartz.

I like that word.

It’s fun to read.

Is there any male?

I’m expecting a

Groan

Bill.

I wore a mitten.

I did the thinkable.

I figured I would coast

Or rather squeak by

And give money to a tramp;

A paltry penny.

Cooing.

Imagine something

More swift

Than that.

Outrageous!

This meat is expensive!

I shall deliver a wall of prose explaining why that’s bull.

It’ll be brainy

And not cluttered

In the slightest.

What an astonishing home

The mute has!

Such an astute observation.

And it’s mighty decorous.

Your turn!

Take the bustling traffic

And transform it

Into obese geese!

I will protest this grade!

Sure, I have a habitual ritual

Of taking the doubtful

And turning them hospitable

But you have to owe it to them

At least they’re not lame

And will be handsomely rewarded posthumously.

Take the bowling pin

And use it to row up the river.

Never use a basketball

Unless frogs are nearby.

Did you manage to take the brass

And put the ones most alike

And give them to the poor?

I want to make this thing explode!

Equal parts

Crown

And a steady bruise.

The exotic kettle

Made the switch.

I thought you had an agreement.

I want to be fit

But I also want to be zesty.

You must give 3 months’ notice

Otherwise I will act barbarous

All day.

The cars of the condemned

Will putter as the crowd cheers.

Don’t be so secretive all the time

You exuberant fellow!

Obey!

Faint!

Scarf down the fearless plain bagel

And then take off your shoes.

Tap dance on crayons

Particularly your young sibling’s.

What a great joke

And will liven up any drab day.

What’s tight?

Not caring?

‘Tis a sin.

That kind of behavior

Will not be fuzzy.

You belong

You normal person.

I took the dolls

And I tickled them.

They were vengeful from that day on.

What a bright holiday

For I took the supreme bleach to make it so.

So jumpy!

I have decided that I need to make an example out of you.

So that your frantic self

And leap from the top of the closet.

O the deep joy

Of the ordinary familiarity!

Save us from the extraordinary!

Recognise your flaws

When you go to town

For the only route into town

Is always home to rough weather.

I want to walk upon a beam

And take the worthless thing home with me.

What makes a bee so wistful?

Education, perhaps.

Everything just seems so hard

For everything to be so cheerful.

I remember when my cheeks were blushing

Out of fear.

I decided to knit a lackadaisical turkey

As the girls

Who are charming

But rambunctious

Bit into the tasty

Scrumptious

Bird.

I tested the crib

To make sure a star

Couldn’t be grabbed.

I set the TV tray on my toes

Because I have a sense of humor.

Throw the teat in the air

While in the wilderness

On mountainous terrain.

I must say that it is very necessary to do so

To avoid a slip.

She’s cloistered.

She has to go on a run

On grease

For that is on her bucket list.

I took the instrument

And

Lost in thought

Was rewarded with a bewildered look.

Remember to lock your doors

Especially if you want prickly people

Such as myself

Away from you.

The incandescent candle

Was left ajar

Next to a pile of rotten eggs

Which were now black.

Perhaps I should perform an operetta

In the bath.

The van was disliked

Because it was miniature.

See how it sparkles

That linen!

Use it as a veil!

I want to obtain permission to crawl under the heat duct.

What does this nonsense consist of?

Don’t be so dramatic

When you raise.

In order to soak the meat

You must first thaw it.

I took the nut from the tall squirrel.

I have a meeting with a mere army general.

It is unadvised.

I think there are rabbits hiding inside the walls

So there’s only one thing to do;

Pull it down.

There’s a third woman

Who is beautiful

But squeamish.

Inside the sink

Four children sat.

They went to go earn cash

So they wouldn’t depend

On their confused parents.

Language makes you apathetic.

I went to the table

And signed

What I was feeling.

Alleged

A lawyer’s favorite word.

What is it about existence

That makes us eager to deceive?

What’s valuable?

Observe.

Surround the hills.

The gunpowder is ceaseless.

Take the harsh marks

And scrub them.

You’re strong.

You can do it.

The people

In the park

Are ultra-lewd.

 

Who am I?

I am a thief

A thief that cannot be arrested

Even if I have taken something

Far more valuable to you

Than either gold or jewels.

Your

Precious

Finite

 

Time