Choice

To love or not to love? That is the question. How we live our lives on the grander sense is the internal life we do not consciously challenge nor see. How do you choose to live?

I just had the biggest enlightenment of my life ...

I have been pondering, battling myself for the longest time. Wondering what it is on Earth I'm here for, we're here for. The pro and con of life. What's what and what's not. Religion, faith, war, peace, love. These are all here in life. The truth is: choice. Our actions and not, are not based on only the realistic consequences of daily life, but are deeper, within ourselves. Tiesto's song, 'Just Be' is saying just that. Look into the mirror and make a decision of what you wish to believe and be. Choose for yourself to live a life you wish to live.

I only choose what to invite into life, seeming like a selfish being, but not. Moving on, we do not exist in this world to be anything directly inhabited by our surroundings, because if that were true, we'd be just as the things and people around us. Are we? Are we selfish in our lives just because those are around us, or do we choose to do what's good (not necessarily 'right') for life? When we see an opportunity to assist someone or help, do we not do so even when we've lived in the past to find out it does not give immediate results of some compensation to us? Meaning, payback ... We choose to believe and still do one of two things: do better (good), or don't do anything at all. With time, seclusion and loneliness is overstated. It becomes a wiser decision-making process, more of a 'hesitation' than inaction.

Selfishness is a social word created by the comprising of society's method of control. Choice, is still ours. The real war, is inside of ourselves. We make the choice about how we wish to live, whether it has any direct or indirect influence over us, over where we've come from, how we were raised. I believe a human being consists of two parts: a good and an evil part. Hence, Love and Hate, God and Satan. It's a choice, on how we decide to live a life. And every decision is spawned from there-on. Every move is made by our inner selves, the positive constantly battling the negative. Choosing whether to do something or choosing not to. Choosing to love or to hate. Choosing to let live or to take life. Once created and given life in this world, we have these two parts in us, constantly pulling at a tug of war.

Every single decision we make is based on that, even when we don't consciously know it or think about it. As a matter of fact, mostly we will never know it. However, I've just realized that it's so. How? Through example. We choose to listen to music, watch movies, and perform certain actions because we choose to do so. When we know that something isn't good for us, yet we still do it, it's the negative part of us that chooses it anyways, even when the better half of ourselves tells us that it isn't good for us. Sometimes it's easier to make a better decision and sometimes not. I believe the true challenge is to understand that this is in fact going on inside of us and not fight it, but accept it for what it is. Once understood, make a decision, a conscious choice, and understand that for the rest of our lives we will continue to battle this other negative half of ourselves. I don't think it goes away, it just calms down. Always coming out at the least-expected time. It has everything to do with self esteem, and self love. Guilt, is the median between the two inner-worlds. If we feel good about ourselves, something inside of us is telling us that it is not good, making ourselves feel terrible. Preventing us from living. These principles should be based on the realistic and immediate reactions to our actions: are we hurting anyone? Are we doing bad unto anyone/anything? Are we dishonest? If these are false, and we still feel guilt in some way, does it not state that our subconscious (other self) is telling us to feel not-well? Anyways ... choice ... It's a choice about how we live our lives, and how we spend our days. We choose to whither and die, or we choose to live, with some hope. Do good and not the other, not hurt anyone, not inflict pain or other internal suffering, whether it be mind pain or heartache. Hence, doing unto others as you would have done unto you. The relationship is mutual. Doing good because you know it is what is the good thing to do, even when there are no payoffs, no payback. Simply doing well for others, because you'd want it done unto you. In terms of relationships, marriage, friendships ... the same applies even more so. What good is it to do 90% of everything onto the other if it is not given back to you? Interesting. That would be hypocritical, because in a relationship we do good because we want the same given back to us. So, to strengthen my own rambling, when we are in a relationship, it is proof that we do all of the wonderful things for and to our partner because we wish to have all of the same beautiful things done for us. If we expect a payoff (which we don't at first) at some point, it is because of our constant tug of war selves, good and bad internally. But the concept still is true. We do good unto them, because we just do, that's what love does to us. When we stop receiving love and giving love, the giving becomes taking, it becomes selfish and bitter, in a negative connotation. Love is the perfect example of the height of a human being, because that is when we are the most-selfless and do the most of good things. Love is a choice, just as hate is. Choosing to do what is best believed in your heart is the real pursuit in life.

Choice, directs us into the paths of the decision. If we choose to do better, the results could be better now or sometime later down the road. And if we choose to go the opposite direction, do the results not yield the same in the opposite court? Making a conscious choice for oneself, is the real truth we can achieve, it is the choice of choosing how to live, and that is the only control we as people have in life. All else is governed by God and fought over with Satan, these things we cannot control, they are ultimately beyond our control. However, God did give us one thing and one thing alone: choice! Once we choose about what to do, then the path is plowed along as we continue to live, often yielding in various results, but that does not conclude that the choice was not made for a good or bad reason. Whichever choice one makes, is the only free willing rule one has over oneself. The inner universe, is ours to govern, and that is, choosing what to believe in, what to listen to and what to decide on when alive. My point is, for myself, my reason for thinking about this which is why I have this idea, is because to me, the concept of love, goodness and peace is the reign of my universe, and I choose to believe in it and live by it. Often stumbling and making bad decisions and falling down, but after falling down one thousand times, after heartaches that would put a being away into a closed for life, I still choose to pursue it and live by it, for good. The good, the light, the peace and happiness I envision and dream of, is all part of this good, this love. Everyone has something to believe in, and they do so for a reason. Choosing to live for something is the free-will we have in life. That is the only path we are destined to go on, the one we choose.

I choose love!