At the moment

Life at the moment is interesting. its 3:05 in the morning and this is what i have discovered. XoxOxoX

 

 

Where I am in life? Sometimes I don’t even know. Sometimes it feels like I am in a subway car, watching life fly before my eyes like the lights of a tunnel; random, flashing blurs. I am no where in life, and yet now, now I feel like I have found myself. Having clawed through the years of educational moulding, the masks, the lies and the makeup, leaving a bloodied and beaten body behind, free of inhibition, free of order and law. Now, as my weakened knees threaten to crumble like autumn leaves beneath me, I feel power. Like a pianist controlling an audience of hundreds absolutely with a single note. Like a president with pen in hand, poised to wage war, ending and saving the lives of hundreds, possibly thousands. I am a God in my own mind: all knowing, all powerful, all consuming.  

Yet beneath this powerful and true self, lies the unknown. An inferno, smouldering beneath the surface, a demon bound and chained. The key? The key is my will. I hold the decision alone whether this world is prepared to withstand the wrath of such a being. I know letting it loose would be wrong, maybe even evil. However, as my knees have now buckled and my bloodied fingers shake before me, I see the demon, red, oozing out in a torrent of crimson fury. The fear and unknowing have been washed away along with the tears and screams, the doubt and the lies. Here I stand, my failures evident as my scars, my successes humble and glowing within me. I am the demon. The president. The god.

Author's Note

if there are grammar problems, i dont care. if you dont like this, i do. let me know. am i insane? or on the verge of some...self realization...or do i scare you? anything

Reviews

[DiggeyEleven]

A lot of times when something dark comes out of someone in writing, it can sound...hate to say it...emo. But that's not what this was, you used beautiful metaphors and imagery.

"I am a God in my own mind: all knowing, all powerful, all consuming." Chilling yet true when you think about the society inside you, the emotions, and life that you've lived in. You control it to a pretty high degree, and you control the craziness that may be inside you, or the beauty. I loved the read, I have a story, "War" (not trying to advertise sorry, not even a story I really like) I wrote when I was 3 years younger, it reminded me slightly of this realization in your life. It happens to everyone, but how you wrote it was powerful.