Drifting

This is an experiment in form, but hope it still connects with anyone who has dealt with this situation.

My eyes awaken.
The sunlight fills the room.

                    Sorry, what was I saying?

Oh, I'm sorry,
You we're talking about ....

   Wait.

                     What is this!

                                     Got to pull it together!
 
Don't mind me,
I must still be tired.

                                      I thought I knew you!
             
     Is this real?

             
Maybe it would be better if you came back later?

       Why can't I remember your name?

I'm sorry,
  I seem to be drifting.

Reviews

[Kenneth The Poet]

This is a cloud of excellence, I think. You constructed a drifting conversation that works really well.

[Ruth]

The form makes it dialogue like and superb to read, gives the reader a real sense of disconnection...the waking up of senses...not thinking straight...
Powerfully blended imagery xo

[Jon Roggie]

Thank you. I asked a friend who I knew would be a tough critic to look at what I have done so far. His thoughts brought up the fact I seem to write as if I am talking to the reader. When I keep it under control, it feels like they are right beside me. I am trying to build on this. I can tell this would be a tough one for me to try and perform. I would need to almost portray two different people. If I can pull it off, it might be riveting. Again thank you.

[Ruth]

Most welcome, I hope it goes ok if you decide to read...you can do it :) I have a piece where there are three people speaking, almost, its hard but you can do it xo