Addictively Toxic

For some odd reason I hate when you smile it shreds my heart into tatters of a wasted want for love I can’t explain. 

You don’t even look at me but your eyes hold a stare incomprehensible to me. 

I am afraid to stare twice, but my heart is loathsome, 

It’s thudding as if it were falling ever faster yet I know that it is not for this reason or any. 

This music is unbearable how can anyone sing about life being fun, it’s so insane I know you ain't never had a man like that, my god I feel sick, 

There are tears I am holding back, I want your body I need your body, my stomach is in knots, sickening to my throat. 

Sitting here makes me want to leave, just go anywhere but here. 

I can’t hold these emotions in even if it’s only me who knows of them. 

Anger tends to settle inn.

Impulse gets driven to emerge from the depths where I felt nothing at all. 

When will reason come to my mind, when these neurons quit firing off and my wits are regained. 

I build myself up and just wait for myself to drop, should I give up when it seems all this leads to nowhere. 

I think I’ve finally snapped, thank god I’ve been losing my head spinning round and round. 

I’m intoxicated and I can’t stop this addiction don’t you know that I’m a lovelorn waiting to be scorned, a toxic beast with a smell of perfume all around slipping under your addiction. 

And it feels there’s nothing I can do, intoxicate me now even though I may not be ready now, don’t procrastinate me now I think I’m ready now.

Author's Note

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