Showy Depths

Just read it and meditate on it.the poem is talking about the sins the world is offering us and how damaging it is to life.PLEASE COMMENT want to hear your thoughts

Drenched in our sins

Absorbing the worlds attractions

Bounded in darkness

Stained by our iniquities

Don’t you see you’re lost?

You need to be found

You need attention

Your scares may not heal

You feel like a wound

    So intoxicated!

You’re longing for a cure

To mend the pain

That’s getting unbearable

You lose all your hopes

To paint a dream

That seems unprintable

Won’t someone save you?

Rescue you from this world

Don’t you see you’re fading in?

The nightmares you’re in.

Reviews

[luviva]

really good... thanxx for sharing

[Catrina De Maria]

awesome write!

[Dariana Guerrero]

Whoa, really love it!

[TheLastEclipse]

Short but very pretty! I think it has great great potential
90/100

[Debbie]

I have someone who is my rescuer and his name is God

[Redrascalstrawberry]

I really like the flow of this poem..

[mandy]

very nice words.. i liked this one a lot.

[Kim]

Nice start! I really like its rhythm and flow overall. It's very straight-forward and I like that. The only things that are a bit unclear are the last two lines. I don't quite understand the phrase "fading in" and the final sentence seems a bit disconnected from the rest. Maybe you can find a way to continue the flow that you have for the rest of the poem so that it includes the final line.

[Words]

Thanks I sew it too. what you think about this replacement:
Wont you see you've faded
a force field
you you're in