To lose A Knight

He Lost her.

 You stand there stunned and unable to speak.

I look back at you feeling hopeless and weak.

How could you have loved me after what I've done.

How can you still remember all of our fun.

Happiness is but the sweet candy of the soul.

Shimmering, glimmering and losing control.

I betrayed your trust I broke your heart.

My ignorance is what caused us to part.

But yet you can stand there with tears in your eyes.

Maybe you are looking back at all of my lies.

I never meant to hurt you, to puncture your trust.

It must of never have been love, but only the lust.

The tempation, the intoxicating thoughts..

The passion, and our late night plots.

I burned it at the stake in my own selfish greed.

You were my knight upon a noble steed.

But look at this mess and the pain deep inside.

All because of the things I was willing to hide.

Author's Note

I could use some input. Help me out please.

Reviews

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It must of never have been love, but only the lust.The tempation, the intoxicating thoughts..The passion, and our late night plots

I like the way you wrote this..maybe it was just lust..not love ..lust is in the moment ..love is the emotional attachment...plus it sounds like u been keeping secrets..hmm :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Behind the pain and regret is someone who seems to lack self love so thinking someone who can love them seems impossible... A well delivered piece.

[Ophelia]

This is so devastating, but so beautiful. It truly is the worst of times that make the best writing. In my opinion any way. You are a very gifted and talented poet.

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

you did a wonderful job on writing this...and it might of been lust...since love lasts forever...or at least true love.
Great Job :)

[Paladin4life]

It's a good read. as far as format goes I will offer this suggestion
You stand there stunned and unable to speak.
I look back at you feeling hopeless and weak.
How could you have loved me after what I've done.How can you still remember all of our fun.
Happiness is but the sweet candy of the soul.
Shimmering, glimmering and losing control.
I betrayed your trust I broke your heart.
My ignorance is what caused us to part.
But yet you can stand there with tears in your eyes.
Maybe you are looking back at all of my lies.
I never meant to hurt you, to puncture your trust.
It must of never have been love, but only the lust.
The tempation, the intoxicating thoughts..
The passion, and our late night plots.
I burned it at the stake in my own selfish greed.
You were my knight upon a noble steed.
But look at this mess and the pain deep inside.
All because of the things I was willing to hide.

That format will make it easier for your reader to see the natural breaks in the poem. Now as far as the actual story here being told. I have to say I feel sorry for the knight, and would love to hear the story behind the poem. Anyways I hope everything works out for the best. Ty for this poem. It is a very good read.

[Elizabeth Thief]

great poem!!