Loveless, to die sooner

you know. depressing s**t. lol

A monument is molded with clay

Of water, of oxygen, of carbon and

More, a life so brilliant how could it be

A mere accident, a pivotal chance

 

It takes what we came to call time

To etch the moods, the intricate details

Of days that stretched into years

This monument’s marvelous mind

 

Maintenance is most essential

For solitude leaves a limitation

For the preservation of the mind

This monument shall rot and decay

Because love is what keeps you alive

Reviews

[Rasputin]

"love is what keeps you alive"
S**t. I'm fucked.
Anyway, I enjoyed this. There's alot of honesty to it- someday, we'll all be gone, but what matters is what we do while we're still here. That's what I got out of it, anyway.

[p.kuhl]

"this monument's marvelous mind"

I really like your approach on this one. not too cryptic, but pretty deep. good job

[Distant horizons]

excellent

[John F Carver]

I like. But I question the last line. It would be nice to believe that, and it would be certainly proper, but one can live without love... well, sort of.

Oh, and I'd change the to die sooner in the title to, so die sooner, or put a the in front of the whole title. I am not really sure why. It just might be my taste in words, and your words are obviously as good as mine.

[Reaching for the clouds]

I see wisdom here....i agree. Love lasts forever...

[Mary Fioratti]

Your poem shows at the end a deep truth of life: yes, love is what keeps us alive...
So well written, all poem.
((((Hugs))))
*Mary*

[John Stussy]

Depressing? I'd say more melancholic, and definitely has a grey-blue beauty to it. As much as I hate to admit it, generally being an isolationist and all, as a species we weren't meant to function alone. I hope words keep coming to you, once they're within your grasp you can make poetry as good as this piece. Great job.