life in a shameful world

this is for persons that can't find freedom with their surroundings

 my life has never been freed

for freedom hasn't been experienced yet

i never did,

and it was so hard to make steps for my feet

they treat me bad

since i was a kid

they never appreciated me

and they also take off my lid

they put shame on me

so the one i want,

the one i'll never be

and they don't 

what is necessary

i can't dig what they bury

they hit me with a blade, with fury

but they don't feel sorry

all around me....everybody

my little world always has war

they said i don't belong so they threw me afar

my eyes get blur

they said i got the quality of a junk car

my soul is dead

but my body had lived

my patience goes low

my brain,looks like it's gonna blow

peoples will be cursed

for they don't know what is my course

my hands were wounded

but i hide the pain

hoping that tomorrow rains

the life that is sentenced

inside a quarter with a high fence

put in prison,though i was a prince

they are fierce with their high vocal tense

hope they'll never be in my life

'cause they are softly killing me,

stabbing me with their pointed knife

through my body,with meaningless life

Author's Note

i was thinking if this is good

Reviews

[Teardrops on my guitar]

emotions are intense..without doubt..but at times poorly described
u got carried away..not really maintaining the beat and length and yes..that matters!
but overall...it is obviously a good effort..keep up the spirit

[angelchent]

yes it was.....confusing....me too
when i was composing it, i was depressed

[Quentin Moyer]

This is good! I like this a lot!

[paparapapa]

This is really depressing. :)) Anyway, I'm not good when it comes to poetry so forgive me if this review doesn't seem credible. Well, i thought the use of repetition in the first stanza was pretty good. It emphasized what you wanted to say. Oh! And I really love rhymes, so another plus. Haha. There were some lines though that were kind of confusing. Or maybe it's just me. I don't know. :)) But overall, it's good. And it's amazing how you can put intense emotions into words. Good job! :D