I Believe

Credo poem.

I believe in the fact that a smile can change a stranger's day for the better.

The things that watch over us.

The constant, deserved protection.

The destiny we each have.

The path set out of each of us.

Planned. Purpose. Beautiful.

But how you can just be mad at the world doesn't make sense.

I believe in the good in even the worst days.

I believe in love at a young age, not infatuation.

I believe in the unconditional love my parents taught me.

Love. Hope. Beliefs.

And I believe in succeeding in your dreams and goals despite what everyone else has told you.

Reviews

[C. S. Vincent]

Your poem verges on a lot of abstraction, which is usually good in moderation. I think that you have a wonderful idea with this poem, and I suggest that you explore each line poetically. For example, with the first line, maybe describe how it changed the stranger's day? Unless...are the lines that follow the first line describing how it can change a stranger's day for the better? It's a little vague and abstract, meaning that I can't visualize it, and that every reader will have a different interpretation of each line. Maybe add some descriptive imagery that accompanies the lines, to clarify it a bit more? Again, it's a really interesting concept, I like it a lot!

One line I think is distracting to the poem is the 7th line (or second stanza). I don't really see how that ties in with the rest of the poem, where the speaker is saying what she/he believes in.

The only other criticism I have with this poem are the line breaks. Some lines are really long, and that's a mouthful. One way some of my colleagues have told me to deal with line breaks in poetry is to break the line naturally. For example, if a poem starts off like, "There was a bear in the woods and he had thorns in his eyes," the line is a little too long. A natural way to cut the line would be (slashes indicate line breaks), "There was a bear in the woods / and he had thorns in his eyes." When you read the poem out loud, and you find yourself pausing mid-line, that's usually a sign that there should be a line break.

Anyway, again, I really like the concept of the poem! I think you have a lot of potential!

[Katie]

Thank you for the constructive criticism! I really appreciate it. This was a poem I had to write for poetry class where I had to follow a certain form. I will definitely take your tips into consideration for my future writings. Thanks again!

[C. S. Vincent]

Not a problem! I hope it helped! Ahh, forms are difficult to do well, especially when it's a prompt for a class! They're the worst, haha, in my opinion. You're welcome! Have a good day!

[Katie]

Haha for me, the difficulty depends on the form. I like some but others, like sonnets, are awful! Thank you, you as well!