My dog ate my destiny

What happens when you wake up at 5 AM and have an epiphany

At 4:30 last night, destiny decided to drop in for a visit… Just wanted to say hi! I woke up with a sense of freshness and a slightly weird feeling below my stomach which I believe would resolve itself in the morning. So there he was… the great destiny; he looked alright to me. A humble looking man; not older than 30s - close to his 40s. So we sat down and decided to talk. I obviously had a whole lot of questions for him but didn’t want to seem too eager. We shared a drink together. He had a classic million year aged whiskey and I stuck to my coke/Pepsi (whatever survived in my fridge). 

 

So after sharing a few pleasantries and an hour long bitching session about his wife (sorry I asked how she was!), I decided to start popping my questions to him.

 

“Hey destiny, what’s the big deal with you”

 

Destiny: I am the almighty destiny! There is a role that everyone plays in the world and I define it for them.

 

“Really?”

 

Destiny: No... Not really.

 

“So what’s the deal with everyone yelling from the rooftops that this is their destiny and have euphoric visions of what they want to do with life?”

 

Destiny: “people believe what they want to believe. They like things decided for them. As kids, parents decided for us and we were so much happier then. As we grow up, it just seems convenient that we find an excuse to make our minds up FOR us. Some take things happening in their life in their stride by convincing themselves “this is my destiny. This is the path that has been chosen for me”

 

“Dude… that’s some deep s**t!”

 

Destiny: “read all this while you’re tripping… it will BLOW YOUR MIND!”

 

“So what is really a person’s destiny?”

 

Destiny: “it’s whatever they want it to be… Destiny is not written in the stars Nor in the sands of time. It is not written down anywhere and if it was… then I’ve kind of misplaced it!

 

(I think my dog ate it!)

 

“What the f**k?”

 

Destiny: “ yea! I mean look at Michael Jackson! He said this tour is “IT”! THIS IS IT tour and all that!...

 

“Dude Michael Jackson!!! Guy was f*****g awesome "

“Dude dude!!! Billy Jean DUDE!!!! SUPER DUPER DUDE!!”

 

(After half hour of duding and trying to moonwalk)

 

“Where was I? oh yea! So Michael Jackson says “This is it! And " (dude Michael…) " small pause " but here is this new album of his. The fact is! It will never be IT!! You know it! I know it! Hell! He’s making a neverland in heaven right now!

 

So it is never IT. Never will be!

 

Destiny: “here’s the deal. When you believe that your life has been written already and your job is just to live it, then life is just a simple ride where you go along the autopilot. But here’s the truth, I suck at my job. I actually don’t do anything or know what I’m doing! (I’m kind of like client servicing). You make your own destiny! I just sit around and take credit. 

 

So kid here’s the deal! I really like you! You have a good heart and a decent brain. You make stupid mistakes sometimes but hey! You don’t value Bourneville till you’ve been denied it for a month! Only then do you realize how much Bourneville matters in your life and how you want to keep eating it for the rest of your life. It’s like the song you just want to marry. You’ll get sick of it for a while but you will always have it in your play list because no play list would be complete without it. Maybe after a few days or weeks, the love will be back. Maybe earlier if you’re high!

 

Something’s, even me, the great destiny cannot deny to someone! It’s what everyone calls a miracle or the hand of god! Look at it like great malt; it just gets better in time! At times in the middle it will taste like an old smelly barrel, but as it ages, it becomes more and more valuable. If it’s worth fighting for, then don’t stop believing in it of fighting for it.

 

And here’s a small piece of advice! Don’t listen to that piece of s**t circumstances. You should know where the whole concept of circumcision came from?? Now you know why he’s pissing on everything! 

 

“What? Who are you talking to? Why are you staring at the screen you dumb drunk fart!?”

 

Destiny: “never mind!”

 

As destiny said goodbye, He tells me that he likes me and gives me the knowledge to write my own life story however I want to. In the near future, you may wonder where the f**k all the money came from and the awesome gadgets!! (Good looks are natural! Even god wonders why he didn’t keep his best creation with himself!). So I sit here and write my story and what part each and everyone plays out in my life. (Sopan you will play the part of the best friend I have the best time kicking a*s of!). 

Reviews

[barricade]

haha! typical aakreit sachdeva...the guy I grew up with! and damn you had to kick sippu's a*s here as well! haha! all in all great write! loved it...keeps the reader gripped and yet maintaining that typical humor of yours...keep it up!