day dream

hmm

I was laying on the sands of the shore
Looking at the sea
In my hands I had a journal, I put it down feeling bore
When suddenly, a shining body started to appear
Walking towards me
Is that a big fish?or it is a pearl?
I cant see
Getting closer, I started to
Glory to the god, who has created you!
Every nice quality, in a lady, has put in you
She is still so wet as if she is still in the sea
Maybe she wanted to leave the sea but the sea
Couldn’t leave her
So he sent a part of him
To stay with her
Her long dark black hair
So wet that it
All together looked
Like one long hair
Like a rope tying me to her
The color of each cheek
Du e to the sea and sun, got so unique
Mixture of red rosy purple white and pink
The two pomegranates on her chest
Shaking in two parallel lines, right then left
Fast shakes but they never met
How long on that have they been trained?
Is she walking, or on birds songs she slightly danced?
Is she dressed or undressed? No difference
Since her dress
And her soft skin
Has become one
Or maybe the skin
Has already swallowed the dress
But the dress looked
Like thin layer of cream
That I started to dream
Of tasting it
I got my journal in my front
Maybe trying to protect
Myself from the desire arrows aimed
At me
But how can it
Prevent
Those strong arrows from reaching me?
But
When the arrows started to touch
Me they started to melt
Due to the desire oven in me
The sea water drops
Falling from her body
Made me hope I have a pot

Collecting it
Before melting the sands
Imagining the way of every drop
Starting from her head
To chest
Between   pomegranates
Then  straight
To navel
Then down
To the unknown
Moving her right leg
Followed by the left
And I m following every step
That my eyes became in the top
Of my head
Hoping instead
Of going straight
She would bend
To where I sit
And then
Seeing her smiling
All the happiness I felt
But
I found out that
She was not
Smiling to me
She was smiling to that
Man sitting
Behind me!

Author's Note

from mind directly to here, sure alot of mistakes

Reviews

[Wolf's Dark Song]

A wonderful wonderful poem! Very romantic with a disappointing ending for the man doing the daydreaming! Great storytelling in this, outstanding imagery and descriptions. Reading this was truly a delight! You did an outstanding job on this.

Thanks for the review you did for me!

[Wondering Mind]

An unexpected ending! I liked how you led the reader on...

[Sugar Plum ♥]

amazing end, and very emotional, sharp and imaginary picture of love...I love the flow of story, written so professional at once! so with day dreaming about mermaid-woman you can`t be really sure to who she is smiling...
~nia~

[Mockingbird]

very vivid imagery. i like the way you describe every inch of her body. i like the image of the arrows heightening his desire. like cupid. it's a shame that in the end it hadn't even been you she was looking at. you have a talent for writing narrative poems. excellent piece.

[MOON]

Lovely twist , flowed especailly towards the end .

[Geraldine]

Oh WOW! This is magnificient. Yay! I love the imagery you created in there, and that unexpected ending. A very beautiful write my friend. :)

[Sleeping Maiden]

It's a beautiful piece! the ending turned to a twist... very bittersweet..
but nicely done!

[?]

OH MY...what a beautiful day dream...
Got me on that ending...wasnt expecting that...lol