daddy wasn't there

He wasn't there for me physically, mentally and emotionally
"he would come visit me every now and then but I was always with my mom who couldn't stand me"
So she sent me away to leave with my father because I wasn't acting reckless "I got suspended from school, I got kicked out of public places, I even got arrested once"
I got worse when I was with my dad
My actions weren't me
"It was my desperate cry for love from my father"
October 3rd was the first day I spent time with him
"the best day of my life"
We watched movies, ate ice cream, and went out to eat"
At 9:00pm my dad got a call from his job
(he thought I was sleeping but I heard the whole conversation as he put the phone of speaker)
Job: we need you to come in
Dad: I have my daughter and no one else is here to watch her
Job: we need you man
Dad: ok
He left without saying goodbye or I love you
I was only 7 and I didn't know what to do so I laid back on the couch and drifted off to sleep
11:00pm I heard knocks at the door
I saw nothing when I looked out the window so I opened the mail slide and I asked who was there
(pure silence) I opened the door to find myself in my dad's room
"I tried to get out of bed but I couldn't feel my hands or my feet"
I was tied up to the bed
I heard footsteps so I closed my eyes and held my breathe
"I was being stripped and I opened my eyes and saw my next door neighbor taking his clothes off"
WHERE IS MY FATHER?
I was praying to god he would come home
I should have never opened the door
He was laughing while I was screaming and kicking "the last thing I remember is my horrifying rape"
I don't know why "I'm so afraid to go back to his house"
My father neglected me as a child so he could go to work