born to kill

born to kill

A Story by lucy
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born to kill is about 14 year old hstiao tai was braught up in china her mum is killed by a drug company and is out to avenge her mother

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LOU CHAPTER 1

 

A red dot was pointed at a bald mans head lou looked at his watch 9:00pm he took a breath before steadying his hands before pulling the trigger he watched the man fall in the distance to confirm he had been hit before walking out the door kicking it with his foot he jumped into the parked car his face was masked with a balaclava when he got onto the duel carriage way he took it of to avoid arousing suspicion as hit 50mph and sped into the night the phone rang on the radio “ is it done lou is he dead” said the distorted voice

“ yes its done I'M headed to shanghai city now I just need to burn the car and you better have my pay check when I get there” the voice laughed before cutting of lou swore cursing charli for his arrogance he drove into a desolate country lane and quickly covered the car in petrol before setting It alight it erupted into flames a wave of intense heat blew over him he walked away hastily with his hood pulled over his face he reached a town and got a taxi to shanghai city it was heaving with people and bright lights from buildings illuminated the sky he faught his way through the surging crowds to the Fairmont peace hotel inside was relatively quiet compared to outside most likely due to the outrageous prices the marbled floor shone and the huge domed ceiling gave an amazing sense of space he walked up to the check in  the woman  was wearing a red silk dress with golden silk dragons embroided on it she had shiny black hair tyed up in a bun “ hello sir how can I help you”

“I have a room booked under the name jiang” he said

“ yes your room number is 201” she said taking a set of keys of a hook “ where abouts are you from in England sir?”

“london” he said beginning to lose patience with all the questions

“ what brings you to china?”

“ business trip nothing special” lou said

“ it must be amazing to travel around  mr jiang asked us to give you this when you arrived” she pulled out a black suit carrier from under the desk

“thank you”

“ were are you going tonight sir”

“ im off to mr and mrs bunds with my colleague”

“ well have a nice evening sir” she said displaying a row of straight white teeth

“ and to you to miss” he said before walking to the lift he found room 201 and opened the door revealing a spacious well lit room with a huge king sized bed he walked to the bathroom and took of the dark smoky clothes before having a bath he took out the beige tailor made suit he looked in the mirror as he positioned his tie he pulled out the tiny pistol hidden in the bag and put it inside his pocket satisfied that he couldn’t see it he called for room service within minuets an elderly woman knocked on the door “ I want these laundered for tomorrow”

“ certainly” the woman bowed her head politely before walking away with the clothes he walked back onto the bustling streets of shanghai  when he got to mr a mrs bund it was full of upper class diners drinking wine  “ hello sir do you have a table booked””

“ yes under jiang”

“ if you would like to follow me he is in the bar”

 charli was sat calmly drinking a glass of beer  “ hello lou would you like a drink”

“No” lou snapped sitting down “ iv done what you’ve asked now hand it over”

“keep it down we don’t want every knowing about it do we you did a good job today  when I give you this I want you out of the country forget the hotel just get out when this hits the media its going to go viral” he discreetly passed him the piece of paper  lou studied the 500k written on the check “ if this is a fake il blow a whole in your head”

“ my dear boy its not  a fake  I promise you can trust us” he gave a smug grin

“your drunk charli”

“ eh cant a man enjoy himself once in a while?”

“ listen don’t play games with me I worked in this business 5 years I deserve respect” he stood up And ignored charli’s laughs as he walked out the restaurant he walked  out the side door into the jetty and heard  someone cough he turned around to see a striking young girl looking at him

“ who are you?”

“ the names hstiao tai”

“ can I help hstiao”

“ yes as a matter of fact you can you see you’re not as clever as you think you are unfortunately for you Iv been tracking you for a number of days and I saw you shoot that man back there. I want you to give me the addresses of all the DVC bases and do you know why your going to do it? because Iv sent evidence to 3 people you kill me and they’ll send the evidence  to the police and  you can expect to be on death row by tomorrow so what do you say lou do we have a deal?”

 

HSTIAO TAI CHAPTER 2


“ok are ready for your first driving lesson” said hstiaos mum

“ not really im going to fail so badly”

They walked to a big driving track were a small beaten up Mitsubishi was parked

“ im driving that”

“ well what did you expect it to be a brand new farrahi? ”

“ ok so I want you to make your self comftorble and then we will begin”

Hstiao adjusted the seat and felt a rush of exitment as she took holdf of the stiring wheel.

“ ok now I want you to move the gearstick into drive and release your foot of the brake pedal and slowly press the acceleration pedal”  

Hstiao grinned as the car began moving forward at 5 mph

“ ok I want you to change gear now release your accelerator and press the clutch pedal now move the gear stick into 2nd now release the clutch slowly and press down on the accelerator”

Hstiao swore as she released the clutch and the car jolted as It stalled

“ what have said about bad language I told you to release the clutch slowly  now start again”

Hstiao took a deep breath before making a messy job of starting the car when she finally got it the car was moving down the track at a steady  15mph  “ ok now when we get to the end I want you to stop when I saw. press the brake then press the clutch and  lower the gear”

The car came to a juddering stop

“ that was awesome did you see me how I drove the car it was amazing” hstiao squealed
“ ok don’t get over exited you forgot to put on the hand brake and check your gearstick is in netural if it isn’t when you start the car it will jerk forward and mow down the person infront”

Hstiao burst out laughing at the thought of that “ now get out and il drive us back I think I need a gin and tonic after that”

Hstiao had sweat patches on her back and armpits and had a huge headache as much as it was exiting she couldn’t believe how much concentration it took

“ when you go to the dojo today I want you to put in 100% effort do you understand me mr chen told me you were doing a half job I told you half jobs result in death you you don’t clean your gun  it blows up or it becomes jammed and before you know it you’ve been shot and you don’t want that do you”

“no mum”

Hstiao walked into the dojo which was a small room with crash mats a laminated  floor and pictures of chinease scripture

Mr chen was small and petit like that of a ballet dancer

He walked in the room “weizhi!” he shouted she stood to attention  while he bowed down she did the same

“ today we learn about mawashi geri you to hit me with the ball of your foot when you turn your foot sideways and curl up your toes”

Hstiao swung and mr cheng did a speedy downward block so her foot hit his forearm

“ again come on more anger!”

After 30 minuets she had sweat pouring of her face he gave her a nunchuck

“ we start by doing a figure of 8” he said doing a demonstraition

“ now place it under your armpit swing and then catch it”

Hstiao swung it and caught before trying to be bruce lee and doing it fast which resulted in her smacking the nunchuck in her face she stumbled back holding onto her nose “ take your time hstiao tai you cant rush things you always expect to learn these things in 5 minuets it took me 20 years to get to where I am now start again and do it slowly”

She nodded and focused as hard as she could

“ good hstiao” he said “ now for the slice for this one you really got to take your time

After 2 hours of mr cheng she felt like shoving a bamboo stick up his a*s

When she walked back to the house she was drenched in sweat and stunk of BO she showered before going to the kitchen were her mum was cooking “ how was it?”

“ it was ok mr cheng is such a nit picker”

“ mr cheng is a good man hes been doing martial arts all his life so I think he knows what hes doing”

“ hurry up cause we got shooting practice”.

 

“ this is a 22lr with a fitted silencer its one of the quietest guns in the world “ her mum fired a shot at one of the targets

“ now when you do it take your time and aim for the spot in the middle”

Hstiao fired “ good now for something different” all of sudden  targets started pinging up with pictures of people on them she froze “ come on hstiao there only pictures”

 “ I cant do this im not a killer” she said putting the gun down

“ is that so?” said her mum

“ yes it is so maybe you want me to be a ruthless killer but im not I want just go to be normal”

“ but the thing is your not like other girls or childre and you know that since you were little you had the temper of a lion and you  used spend your time as a child on your own in some forest and if a child ever annoyed you youd leave them with a black eye I rember having to be threatned with lawsuits by the childrens parents and your able to fire guns you’ve learned martial arts since you could walk come on hstiao you know your not normal”

“ well that’s your fault I never asked to be home schooled on my own and to be trained that was your influence”

“ I home schooled you so you were better off than going to some mainstream school i dont want you to be a killer I just want you to be able to stick up for yourself”

Hstiao put the gun down “ look Im not doing this anymore that’s it!” she said before running of to lie in her bed feeling sorry for herself.

 

The next morning she was walking to the market to buy some groceries she was walking back with heavy bags of food and could feel her blood circulation being cut of at the fingers she walked through the jetty and could hear someone behind her she knew better than to look behind her so kept walking she made a sharp turn left and and mingled in with the bustling crowd she walked quickly until she got to the quiet country lane she heard a car it stopped and two men jumped out the back seat and grabbed her around the neck the bags split as it hit the flour and vegtables rolled along the road she jumped up using the guy grabbing her neck as a post she sprang both her legs up kicking the other guy in the she elbowed the guy holding her in the stomach spun round and right hooked him several times before grabbing his  gun and smashing it against his head and held the gun at the one shed kicked the driver got out holding his own gun “both of you put the guns down now!” she screamed she moved round positioning herself with the one shed kicked infront of her “ there two of us and one of you now I suggest you put your gun down”

“ ok”she said lowering her gun she began walking forward when she spun round smacking the driver in the head and shooting the other one in the chest she looked around at the 3 bodys lieing on the floor the two she had hit with the gun had huge bloody gashes on there heads she threw the gun on the floor when suddenly the guy she had just shot stood up and unzipped his jacket revealing a bullet proof vest             “ surprised? Your mum sent us to follow you

“ excuse me” she spluttered

“ your mum payed us to do this I think you’ve knocked these to out cold”

“ but what why did she do that”

“ I don’t know why don’t you ask her”

“ you mean I just hit these two innocents they need to go to the hospital”

She said

“ look go home they will be fine”

Furius she ran home as fast as she could “ mum!” she yelled her mum was sat camly in the lounge doing yoga “ why did you send those guys to follow me!”

“ because I wanted to prove a point and he just rang me now and told me what happened he said he was impressed with your skill”

“ stop being stuipid mum iv just seariously hurt two innocent people”

“ look calm down I paid them to do it and told them to be warned doesn’t what just happened prove a point you shot the man in chest if your not a killer than why did you do that”

Hstisao stuttered as she tried to find something to say and slowly came to the realisation “ im a murderer”

“ dear god hstiao your not a murderer I want you to stay out of trouble but if you ever come into difficulty I want you to be able to deal with it”

Hstiao nodded and sat down “ I do l

© 2015 lucy


Author's Note

lucy
ignore grammar/spelling i am interested in what you think of the content and whether you think its worth while

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Reviews

The pace is very fast, as there's nothing to slow it down. Add in a few transition words/phrases (ones that fit the style of your story though, as Therefore, and further more sound stuff while and, next, then meanwhile do not. A period and paragraph space here and there would help with people become more willing to read this chapter to help with it. Both of them provide mental and visual breaks. I'm sorry. ;-; I'm having hard time following with what is going on and who is who in the story.

I need periods, and spaces my brain is the kind that keeps reading the same thing over several times in a fat paragraph. I do get the feeling that the pov is ether shot (?) or in trouble with some one. This needs to be restructured so that the words instead of jumbled, flow. The goal of every author is to make their storys clear, and engrossing to the reader, so that they can share their story with them, and entertain them.

However it needs to be said that this chapter was made and written out, and that in it self is an accomplishment some would be authors never reach. The best way to improve is to keep writing, and listen to every critic that comes in here. Feedback for ones story/s is invaluable and can speed up the learning process exponentially. Don't let fear hold you back keep writing! Dam* 'I cant's and kick them to the curb,because you can!

Posted 9 Years Ago


lucy

9 Years Ago

thank you for your comment peoples feedback means a lot to me.
Darkocean

9 Years Ago

You're welcome :) Keep at it ok? My first rough draft was filled with badly done sexual innuendos, y.. read more
Please feel free to give constructive critisim

Posted 9 Years Ago



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Added on January 15, 2015
Last Updated on January 15, 2015

Author

lucy
lucy

United Kingdom