Making good from my past

Please do not judge me by this story, even though it is true. I have done many wrong things in my twenty-year lifespan up to now, but this is the one that topples them all. But nonetheless, enjoy :)

It was the year that I graduated from elementary school I first met her. Black curls, dark skin, easy smile……a typical athletic girl. Unlike most Chinese girls who were shy to their wits to chat with strangers, she greeted me by name the instant we made eye contact. Just then did I realized that she was the weird girl from the class next door to my sixth-year homeroom, and she knew me as the American Boy. A few days later, the two of us met once more in our soon-to-be middle school, checking out the place, filling through enrollment slips…etc. Little did I know that she-Michelle-would affect my following two years.

We made it to Class one, the elite class of our grade. Pressure stormed down from everywhere, teachers thrust their schedules before we could catch up, parents raised their grade expectations with every passing exam and the competition between students raged on like an eternal war. Our classmates were brilliant, competing for the class crown, and eventually, for the year throne. Under such pressures it was literally impossible to see a path of light through your fears.

To survive, Michelle and I began relying on each other for emotional support. A friendship blossomed as days passed, reinforced by the fear of losing each other in the fray. Our bond wasn’t like pleasant friendships that flourished and blossomed through the course of time, but rather one that enslaved us with fear like chained handcuffs. Without each other's hand to hold on, we would plummet into the bottomless pit and ultimately lose ourselves, an ending that neither one of us could endure alone.

After a month we met, I told her that I had a girlfriend, so she was somewhere between a “Girlfriend” and “Best Friend”. Sadly for her, I already had candidates for both positions, and her face immediately dropped whenever I spoke of them.

Now, you must know that I am the type of person who easily attracts other, but can’t stand staying around the same crowd for too long. Contrariwise, Michelle is a normal girl that simply could not stand loneness.

With completely opposite personalities, it was easy of us to disband, yet hard to bond together again. Pride is my power and flaw; she was caught on the dark side when I began to take her for granted. Like a withering rose, she began to lose her smile.

The breaking point was when I finally left our original group and conjured up a new lot. One day, as I was walking in the middle of my newly formed pack down the center of the hallway, someone popped out, “Hey Leon, where’s Michelle?”

I shrugged. “Does it matter?”

Little did I know, she was just tailing the crowd.

I didn’t get to see her face, but I could guess her expression. With that, I lost her trust in my arrogance and her friendship in my pride.

I was an idiot.

An atmosphere of Artic lands then covered our conversations from then on. One day she passed me a note that simply expressed her disappointment and anger. Hot-headed, I got rash and started spreading rumors about her through my crowd, using them as amplifiers to pass on the poisonous words to anyone around us. Within days I had framed Michelle as the black sheep of the entire class, toppling her status as I went.

Deeper and deeper she plummeted as I started to conquer the trust of our mutual friends, tearing apart her last safe haven as I went. She struck the bottom of the pit as I bested her 36 to 4 when we ran for the position of class leader. A howl of laughter exploded as she shuffled off stage, followed by jeers of “Who does she think she is?” With charisma at max, I left her in the dust after passing the major exam that secured my path to my ideal high school; whereas she flunked and began preparing for the redo test dated three months later.

We went to different high schools, I went to TYSH and she went to JL. Sometimes I still ran into her at the train station. In tenth grade I saw her time from time, sometimes we interacted like complete strangers, and other times she scurried away from my path.

How can I make good from that part of my past? I have no idea, but from then on, I learned to cherish my friends instead of treating them as flanks. Friendship isn’t built on one’s charm; it is the bond between two souls. It was a pity that I could not see that then, or I would not have lost what was truly important to me. Not only was Michelle a true friend: she acted as assistant when I had multiple tasks to accomplish at once like my shadow, she played support when I nearly lost myself like a lover; and mostly, she was there for me every time I asked for her (minus the last part) like a sister. Even now, as I rethink my past, she guides me to this day.

 

Epilogue:     

Michelle and I reunited just recently, on the dawn of 2012/11/2, the day I finished writing the above. This time, she did not run.

S, who knew our story, shot me a demanding look:

Reunion would only be formed if you can face my past mistakes.

So I walked over, pumping myself with confidence the whole way.

Author's Note

Please leave a comment! Compliments and criticism are the two best things a writer can ever receive from others :)

Reviews

[MeithaSoekotjo]

The story just made me chill!
Anyway, I wonder if the story becomes a poetry...hhmmm...a Villanelle might be the best format for it.
Thanks for sharing the story.
I like it!

[Kirasoul]

That is a truly inspirational idea Meitha! I'll be sure to try that in the future
Thank you for your kind words :)

[MeithaSoekotjo]

A pleasure! :)

[Chafino]

I can really relate to this story because I was the one that was left in the dust. Really, anyone that's left in the dust just wants the person to apologize.

[Kirasoul]

I'm sorry to hear that :(
One should never keep so much sadness in his life. I hope you can still forgive your friend.

[Jacob Clifford]

Very rough story. I think we all have at least one thing we did to a close friend that we wish we never did. It's good that you were able to learn from your past--what else can we do? Learning and growing from mistakes isn't always easy, but it's so very crucial.

[Kirasoul]

I can't agree with you more Clifford. It took me a great deal of time after my wrongs to be able to face my mistakes, but by then it was already too late. Thanks for your review!

[Adesanya Yewande]

Is it a non fiction? if it is the story is very touching and somehow sad,true friendship is more than just walking together its sharing your thoughts been there for one another............lovely story every line captures my attention wanting to know what happened to the once upon a time close friend.....looking forward to more from you

[Kirasoul]

Thank you very much Adesanya! And sadly yes, this is non-fiction :)