Broken Letter

Sometimes I wake to silence,
And my heart breaks again.
Sometimes I hear your laughter
in the echoes of the rain,
some times I feel your hand
touching mine, and feel the pain
as I remember you are no longer there.

If it would mean that for a day
I could walk with you,
I would sell my soul
for a chance to make that true.
If I could hold you for a moment
I know I could make it though, 
but I can't, and darkness fills me.

I think some times how easy
it would be for me to die.
I lie awake and think of you, 
alone I sit and cry, 
and in the shadow of my pain
I cling to life and try
to be someone that you can view with pride.

Each day I work my hands
till they bleed and break.
each night I sit and suffer
as I relive each mistake,
Always have I loved you,
without you here I fear I'll break.
But for you I will try to hold on.

In my dreams you call my name
asking why I let you go.
You look on with teary eyes
such inner pain your face will show,
and wake in tears of anguish
fearing you will never know
the love I always had for you.

So now I write this letter to you,
a child who answers seek,
as to the reason that his mother
was distant and was weak.
Know I'm sorry that I let you go,
But your care I could not keep.
Know that all I did I did from love.

Please never doubt my love.

Reviews

[Angad Waraich]

This is just great i could feel your pain , the suffering and longing.
Most of us can only write but to share what inspired those events with such honesty is the mark of a wonderful person.
Thank you for sharing such a dark piece of your lives with us.

Keep writing.
Angad

[Kitalia Emme]

Thank you! I am glad that you enjoyed the read. I hope that my other works are of enjoyment to you as well.

[Confuser]

This is very touching and beautiful. It's like you poured out your soul. Thought provoking! Thank you.

[Kitalia Emme]

Thank you! I really did just let go of everything, and what happened seemed beautiful (though I am biased) so I shared.

[Confuser]

It is. I wish I could write a love poem. The closest has been the poetic prose/whatever...Believe....this takes going deep. What a great job. A contest just popped up for a love poem. I hope you enter.

[Kitalia Emme]

Certainly, do you know the name, by chance?

[Confuser]

I'm sorry, it's 15 hrs later - I suppose you could look under contests. Again, I re-read and think it's lovely.

[Kitalia Emme]

I think I found it. And thank you

[Sheila Marie Carr]

Wow I feel your pain...I'm sorry that you have to go through this. The poem was very heart felt but I'm sure your son would appreciate all the love you wrote in it.

[Kitalia Emme]

Thank you! Thank you for your kind words.

[Sheila Marie Carr]

You're welcome

[Steph]

Wow, this poem is so heartfelt and deep and so wonderfully written. Although me myself cannot relate to this subject I still felt every word you wrote, I felt your remorse, and I felt your desire for your son. A really beautiful piece. Please keep on writing!

[Kitalia Emme]

If the words ever cease to flow from my pen, I fear I would be dead.
I hope that you take the time (should you have some to spare) to enjoy the Tidesong works (Follow the wind, Take Flight, On Broken Wings)

[Kitalia Emme]

Due to employment and some undesirable events in my life I have sent my son to live with a relative. As a mother it is by far the most painful and guilty thing. Not a day passes that I am not in extreme pain.
I wrote this after getting off the phone with him. Having to tell him good night from miles away, not being able to hold or kiss. Not being able to tuck him in.
Not needing to scare away the monsters, as he told me that 'monsters are lonely and that is why they growl. Like dogs who are scared. All you have to do is talk to them and it will make them happy."
Four years old and already wise and addicted to books.
I often write for him, praying he can forgive me.

[K.N. Thorn]

I am sure he will, you did not abandon him and you talk to him regularly it sounds. He is loved and is taken care of and that is all that matters. You will be together once more I think.

[Kitalia Emme]

[Wórdsmíth]

"Sometimes I hear your laughter
in the echoes of the rain... "

Very deep lines and I admire it with all of my variant heart. The poem`s itself written unto the "fathoms" of love.. where no one can volume the "tears". And .. your pieces`re as beautiful as you cause, the scent of flower`s always very beautiful in disguise of .. no matter what--It could be a piece, a leaf, a beautiful persona .. and, of course, a manuscript off heart. Nice imagery.

Ps. I must say, the tears would fall down unto the sheets when you`d have written this write. Even I can see the waves of your tempted emotions flattered before my eyes in disguise of this poem.

[Kitalia Emme]

A piece that wrote it's self, and as you say, I did cry as I wrote it. I appreciate your words, and am glad that you could enjoy it's beauty.

[Wórdsmíth]

I always enjoy your every speck of piece that you cook with the fragrant taste of your delicate emotions. Every word you write reflects a reader the piece of your "pears (tears) dripped down from your radiant flesh (eyes)". Keep writing. You give anew breath to readers hearts.

[Kitalia Emme]

I cannot imagine ever putting down the pen. I will strive to maintain quality for all of you who read, encourage, and enjoy my dishes.

[Wórdsmíth]

Let it keep walking even dancing ov`r the "blank" leaves of your life and get re-filled with the ink of your love. You, your writes even your heart as well .. are made up of many components and one ingredient I know is called "Talent".. so, keep on. Rain or shine.. count me always by your side.. alias on your support .. like you say.. to encourage you.

[Chris]

It takes living to understand missing... I understand this one - deeply.

[Kitalia Emme]

Thank you

[Chris]

you're welcome...

[K.N. Thorn]

There is so much pain in this poem and it tugs at my heart and soul. I feel it, the pain and the grief, even remorse. Poetry from the heart really makes the most beautiful pieces and are always so relate-able. There are quite a few poems of mine I think you would like in particular is Memories Despair.

[Kitalia Emme]

Feel free to drop me recommendations any time, I will be happy to sample your dishes.
I work multiple jobs, so read requests are the best way to get your stuff to me, that way I don't lose it in the shuffle of trying to balance everything. It may take me a few days, but I will read and review any requests I get.
And thank you for your kind words. I am glad that you could enjoy this bitter sample.

[K.N. Thorn]

Alright then I will do that :)