Close Your Eyes

Close your eyes
And breathe
Hugging your knees as you sob
Doesn't make it go away
Just gives you some comfort
Because no one is here to
Squeeze some life into your lifeless sobs
And girl
This is all wrong
There are no stars in the sky tonite
Just your sighs fill the silent night
As your tears flow like poetry
You look up into the black
Starless sky
Starless
Unlike
Once starry eyes
Maybe if a star falls
It won't hurt so much to
Have this internal conflict
That yourself loves to have with yourself
Close your eyes
Maybe when you open them
There will be an answer there
Staring you right in the eyes
That used to sparkle
The red lips that used to sing
Just because
The cheeks that used to blush
But now that is all gone
And there are just tears
No sparkle
No songs
No lovely lovely me
Used to be
Not anymore
Nothing anymore
Eyes closed
Mind closed
Maybe if
I never traded in my beating heart
For one that only works
When I need it to
Open your eyes
It is time to open them up
Your answer right in front of your pretty face
As you see yourself starting to deteriorate
As you see yourself ten years from now
Right in front of your sullen face
Looking at you
No happier than you are
Now with shallow breaths
And hugs you can only give yourself
Because you pushed everyone that ever cared
Away
As you open your eyes
As you see yourself starting to deteriorate
Ten years from now
Right in front of you
Alone and breathless

Reviews

[Chris Zahar]

Your poem certainly proves that a whisper can be more powerful than a scream. The whole time I felt this very quiet depression looming around me, and that's a talent that all good poets have. Any idiot can feel something, some are gifted enough to put it into words, but it takes a poet to truly make a person feel what the poet is feeling. There are some minor problems that could stand to be trimmed off, for instance the use of "silent night" when the reader already knows you're talking about the night thanks to the previous line (also, "tonight" not "tonite"), but again, these are very minor problems that can be easily fixed. Nice rhythm in this piece of free verse too.

[Red_Queen]

I loved it. it was a serious poem that still managed to make me laugh i dont think you meant to do it but you rymed
"nite" with night.
i dont know if you meant to mispell night either. but it was good keep it up.

[Baby Boy]

Wow! This a very deep poem gurl and you just made me open my eyes! :) I loved it and it is very thought provoking and very real! Great job Miss Kittielyn! One luv gurl!



-JC-

[Star Catcher]

That was wonderful. I found myself thinking of times when I'd felt that way, and feeling whatever I hadn't felt before that was included in the piece.

[The Darkest Silhouette]

im going to start by saying i dont like direct poetry
however, the flow here pulled me in and because it was so unashamedly real i kept reading
good luck with future posts

[Wolfwind Words]

Wow! line after line i felt the sense of being utterly alone. That every time that hope crept up, it crumbled again. farther down it went till i was right there with you in the end. A powerfull poem that tells us of troubled and lonely times. You are gifted with as you paint masterpieces of words onto a white canvas for all to see and hear with in there hearts! Wonderfully writen! Keep up the great work!