What If I Didn't Care?

This is far from what I expected it to be

This is far from everything I wanted you to be

All we do is argue, debate and make idle chat

Our conversations are lame, if even that

I sit with you and try not to cry

You make arrangements secretly, trying not to lie

 

All I hear about is this girl and that girl

Whom loves you, "obviously"

Everything I hear is about you and this person when I wasnt there

Which was amazingly glorious, like "totally"

I sit with you and think what the f**k happened here

You do not give a damn, to my upset or my mind

 

Am I here as a trophy? Just by your side so you can brag?

You did always say I was beautiful, but where are those compliments now that I crave them?

Am I here to touch, to play with, to give you something to do?

For all you are is a shell of the friend I used to know and an utter disappointment as more

I lay down on the grass as your tongue explores my mouth, salivi mixing together

You hug me and touch me to fill your own selfish desire.

 

I stopped wearing your star hooded sweatshirt a long time ago.

I stopped waiting for your calls a very long time ago.

I stopped texting or talking to you as much as I would

I stopped faking a smile and stroking your throbbing ego

I stopped telling everyone "he isnt like that, hes lovely"

I stopped thinking you were right, I never ever thought you were perfect

And I am no longer deluded, "my love", you were right all along

You were never amazing, only to a love-stricken fool who you played with

Tormented, Mocked, Undermined

wait....that should be present tense

Or should I keep it as past, dear?

 

How would you feeeeeel, If I turned right around

And dumped your sorry arse

Who would you turn to, who would love you as much as I could?

How would you occupy your time

would you even CARE?

 

Why are you so selfish, why are you so rude

Why do you treat me like s**t, when being good to you is all I've ever wanted to do

Why do you feel the need, to wind me up about other girls and tell me of your life without me in it?

Why do you feel the need to highlight my mistakes, for no reason but to please yourself?

How would you feel, if I acted like you, if the roles were switched, if there was no love lost here.

How would you cope, if I didn't care?

 

Reviews

[Secondhand Tink]

I loved this, so much emotion and you always write your best when you have fuel to light the fire, it seems you have so much fuel...You could light a thousand fires and more with your words of bitterness and anger. I love the dirty pretty in this too, it really helps you put across the points you want to make the most noticeable. Somehow I knew you were feeling all these things and was wondering if you would write it out so I could see it was true. I feel so special coz I totally understand the whole entire thing XD XD It just makes my dislike for 'her' feel even more justified.

Love you babe, you're such a great writer.

[Spilled Her Guts in Cur..]

I can feel the emotion behind this. Raw and unmasked.
There's a tragically beautiful bond you share with feelings of anger, bitterness and sadness etc. They translate into some of your best writing. Keep using those feelings for good like this poem.