Funeral.

It can't be you.
It can't be you.

Why you?

Someone who never had a selfish thought in their life
Someone who glanced at me with unjudgemental eyes
Someone who gave so much for so little all their life
Will never again open their eyes.

The last one who wasn't displeased
The last one who wanted me to just be me

It can't be you.
It can't be you.
 

I want to run, until I don't have to remember you.
I want to scream, until I can't think of you
I can't breathe, because thats what you can no longer do
I want to run,
I want to flee.

Every time we walked in your house and a smile of undiluted joy lit up your whole face
Every time we'd be going home and you'd stand outside in the cold, just to wave us away.
When we were young, and you gave us toys to take home, which would make Mum sigh.
When we were little, and coloured with your pens, content by your side.
When we were older, and told you of our life.
Every time we tried to visit you and you turned us away.
The single time we visited you...you looked so frail.
It's a blessing to you I know. Whatever happens, I hope it brings you peace
You deserve it.
You deserved much more than this life.

I'll go along to honour, you.
I'll take a fistful of dirt and sing hymns out of tune,
I'll make sure that, I learn something from your past

Maybe you'll disappear behind a curtain
And maybe I'll smell, the sordid stench of burning.
Maybe I'll cry, but even if I don't I'll feel it all inside
Because it can't be you,

I don't want to see, you underneath a wood panel.
I don't want you to be, lined in a box for eternity.
I never got to show you my results,
Or tell you what career I was gonna choose.
I wanted you to see, my first child.
I don't want to face reality.

People say when you're prepared
When you know
One day soon they'll be gone,
But they're wrong.

It's agonising, unbelievably gut wrenching,
Vomit inducing, stress creating
Filled with overwhelming sadness
Shaken with a brief flicker of hope
And the momentous grief when your flicker is extinguished
Like a flame
Like a life.

 

It can't be you.

 

Reviews

[Dillon Cotter]

This is pretty forward and very deep. I'm actually suprised that you imput so much emotion and feeling behind this. Its really a awesome feel and experience reading this!

-Will