Desperate Belief

I wrote this poem about my ongoing struggle with depression and how that has affected me spiritually. It is meant to be a sort of stream of consciousness type poem.

I desperately believe.
I desperately burn to believe.
I desperately burn to believe that I believe.

My heart is reaching out and grasping for it,
but a tiny voice asks if I have just been foolishly fooled,
and only air is gushing through my grip.
I want to be comforted...I think.
Grief instructs us how to bring beautiful words together into a soothing lotion,
but I can feel splinters of glass etch (their?) malice into me,
I cannot know if they were hidden within the words,
or if their slashing edges were already freckled across my skin,
resting softly, never meaning to trespass so terribly.

I desperately burn to believe that I believe.
I desperately burn to believe.
I desperately,
burningly,
believe.