The Mind of a Child

Kids say the craziest things

Wild and hilariously full of zing

Reminiscing of mine having fun

Things said when they were young

 

"Mommy, please get off the phone, and wipe my butt!"

"Daddy you smell like a sweet yummy doughnut!"

"Boys have a penis and girls have a china."

“He will get what’s coming to him, its comma”

 

"I didn't know ladies could have a mustache."

“Nature’s boring, let’s visit it last.”

"Why call me sweetheart and not sweet ears?" 

“When God cries is it raining his tears?”

 

“Mommy I have a sore poop in my belly.”

“How many people are dead in that cemetery?”

"Our Father, Who does art in heaven...”

“She’s freaking out like a piece of bacon.”

 

“My mom is paying because my uncle’s broke.”

"My taste bugs aren't working well, I might choke."

“Snow White is the most beautiful of the-mall?”

"You're a bum-bum face and your nose is too small."

 

"She coughed all over the remote. Can you fertilize it.”

“Ewe, what is that on the windshield, white spit?”

“Where are all the animals if their house is a zoo?”

“The cat would be prettier if she was painted blue”

 

“A child-proof cap, how does it know it’s me?’

“How much do I cost now that I’m three?”

“Grammy, why doesn’t your skin fit your face?”

“Faster mom, a snail could beat you in a footrace.”

 

“Does Santa have more than one baby in his tummy?”

“The makeup on your face looks a little scummy.”

“I did wash my hands, they just dry really fast.”

"What does "varicose" mean? “Nearby and not past.”