Racoon-eyed Angel

This poem was written from personal experience

Racoon-eyed angel,

naked in her lovers' motel room;

bloodshot eyes gazing into someone

who can hardly look at himself.

Little girl stumbles into te bathroom,

stops at the mirro and hardly recognizes
th thing staring back at her:

honey skin, pale and taut-

yanked tight against teenage bones,

brown eyes shadowed by

too much makeup and wild from

way too many drugs,

dark bruises on her neck

that she swears weren't there yesterday.

She turns back to look at the man,

then back to this girl gazing,

dead-eyed, back at her

thhrough the smeared mirror of a motel.

She holds back a sob, wondering,

what has she done?

Her mind is a movie of blacked out memories,

waterfalls threatening to pour out of

mascara-shut eyes,

everything seeming too horrible to face,

too believe or understand.

Racoon eyed angel gets up without

looking in the mirror,

never wants to see how far gone she truly is.

Clumsily she hovers his nightstand,

searching for another drink and some pills.

"Hopefully", she whispers,

"I won't wake up".

Reviews

[Androglossia]

There is so much emotion to this poem. Although emotion is clearly present, the information or the story is vague so that it is difficult to form any interpretation at the desired level of specificity.

Strong points:
Your linguistic style is very captivating and great use of metaphor too. You're good at using the free verse form.

Weak points:
Minor typos

Line 6: mirro (mirror)
Line 5: th (the)

[kayla]

thx you(:

[Laura Maidah]

Some tech issues. "face,/to believe or..." However, it's very moving. "Racoon-eyed angel gets up without/..." is an example of a missing hyphen. There might have to be a comma after "Clumsily, she hovers..." It's rather great otherwise. Thanks for a great read.

[LeeBabyRnR]

This is so good! Your writing style is really good! :)

[MoriartyMesa]

One or three minor fixes, but this was nice and might be could for spoken word or song.