All I got is time.

Sci-fi short story about an exceptionally odd day for one man.

I had just gotten to sleep and the phone rings, it seems that is the most popular time to call around my house.  I glance at the phone and see the ID, “Unknown” is all that appears.  How ironic, every time the Agency calls me they have the same identifier and I always know who it is. 

“Agent Mike Keller speaking, what could you possibly want from me at 0300?” I say.

“Agent Keller, this is Private Hunt at RRMC you need to come in immediately” says the voice sternly.

“What the hell do you need me for? Did aliens finally land?  We find a telepath or some nonsense?”

“They won’t tell me, it’s urgent and the saboteur will only speak with you” goes the reply.

“Saboteur?  What the f**k is going on?”

“They told me to tell you that the saboteur will only speak to you, I don’t know what it means.  I assumed it was some sort of code phrase you communicate with.  That’s all I know.”

“Fine fine, tell them the crows fly at midnight then.” I reply with obvious sarcasm.

“….ok.” Stammers the private.

Well that was a strange call.  I wonder what sort of looks the private will get reporting that phrase to his supervisor?  I work in the most neglected, overlooked area of the CIA.  I don’t get communicated to by normal means let-alone secret code words; I hope I didn’t get the private in too much trouble.  I don’t really care, he works in the communication department on the other side of the state. 

I clumsily put together my clothes and retrieved my key fob before I headed out.  I always keep my fob attached to my car keys now.  I lost it once years ago and the CIA opened an entire investigation into my life trying to find it.  The search took weeks but they finally found it at my ex-wife’s house; it was behind the headboard they said.  I suggested that they waterboard my ex and her mother as well to speed the investigation along.  They considered it, but my request was ultimately denied, a shame really.  I also suggested they just use the security software to cancel my missing fobs access ability and get me a new one, but that costs money to order a new one and we were over budget at the time. It was much cheaper to send 15 agents into the field for 12 days and find it.  I stopped questioning the bureaucratic decision tree shortly after that and just complied with everything without question; it eliminated a lot of stress from my life. 

I arrive at the base shortly and see General Marsk waiting at the front gate.  The General is never at the office after 1700, something must be wrong.  He flags me down and jumps in the passenger seat and just points towards the command center.  We fly through the 4 checkpoints without so much as slowing down.  What normally takes me the better part of an hour is shortened to less than 4 minutes with a General in the side seat.  I learned the best way to infiltrate a government base is to wear a large hat with a lot of decorations on it and no one will stop you.  

After the last checkpoint the General beckons me to park and get out in front of the Intel office.  He orders me to get out and proceeds to walk briskly towards the front door while impatiently beckoning me to catch up.

“Agent Keller, today at exactly 2130 a man infiltrated the base by walking through the front gate.  He subdued both gate guards and then proceeded to run straight towards our Intel office where is detained as we speak.  He also refuses to speak to anyone but you.” Says the general as we approach the front door.

“Me? I don’t understand….wait, how did he get through the other 3 checkpoints?”

“I told you, he ran.” Reprimanded General Marsk

“I get threatened with physical violence on a weekly basis by those gate guards for carrying suspicious bagels.  What’s his secret?”

“They fired on him and missed. This is not the time for levity”

“At all three checkpoints?” I said incredulously

“The first checkpoint fired as well but they were eliminated without much resistance.”

“He killed them?”

“Yes.  Agent Keller, but we need you to figure out what he wants, not scrutinize our security.” He said as he glared at me. “The perpetrator proceeded to evade our efforts and made his way to the Intel building where he killed Agent Keen with a single blow to the chest shortly after entry into the building. I was in the lobby to witness this as he took Keens firearm and proceeded to take me hostage and forced me into your office where he sits now.  He recited the launch codes for our nuclear armament and then asked to see you.  He said he has a dirty bomb placed in every major city and asked to be left alone until you arrive.  He made no other demands. He gave me his firearm and sat down and waited for you to arrive.  He hasn’t spoken a word since.”

Eight armed guards each with 60+ bullets fired on one target and missed. Agent Keen is a well versed MMA practitioner that would be unlikely to die from a single blow. The “saboteur” is either highly trained, or ridiculously lucky; probably both.  Something is being held back from me and the General obviously doesn’t feel like it is important that I know.  Secrets are power around here and the more you have the more powerful you are.  He didn’t get 4 stars by being Gabby Gossip. 

The General leads me down a very familiar path all the way to my office and stops short of my door.  There are four armed guards outside my door pointing their weapons at the door.  They look intense.   Intense as in “not a f*****g drill” intense. 

“Here we are. He is unarmed and inside sitting in your chair.  We have two more guards in there as well” says General Marsk.

He points to the door and stands with his arms crossed waiting. 

I enter my office and see a somewhat pudgy middle aged Asian man sitting in my chair.  He is smiling and seems to recognize me as I step in.  Two other men in riot gear are standing in the corners with weapons trained on the man. 

“Please sit, we have a lot to talk about” He says as he points to the chair in front of my desk.

He has an easy smile that doesn’t seem psychotic at all, considering the circumstances.  He is completely at ease without a hint of anxiety.  It seems so surreal.

“How do you know  m…”

“Your name is Mike Keller, you have been working in paranormal investigations at RRMC for the last 17 years now, you hate mint ice cream and have an ingrown toenail on your left big toe.  You hate your brother-in-law and don’t carry any ammunition in your sidearm that is issued to you because you reason you are making your country a safer place that way.  When you were in the seventh grade you stole all the mouse balls from the computer lab and still feel bad about it. My name is Chen and I know everything about you” Interrupted the Asian man.

It was all true, all of it.  I sat there dumfounded, searching for something to say.

“How do I know all of this?  What logical conclusion can you make of this information Mike?”

“I uh, well I can’t explain it.  You read my dossier?”

Stupid answer, I am still in shock.  He just smiles at me and waits patiently.

“Yes Mike, your Dossier includes the current status of your toenails.  The government likes to waste money but even they have a line they won’t cross.”

I laugh.  What else can you do in a situation like this? This seems too familiar, like Déjà vu.  Everything this guy says and does is downright eerie, but not in a bad way.  I can’t explain it.

“Seriously Mike, don’t limit yourself to reality.  How can I know these things?” He says prompting me.

I start to think a little more clearly now.  This has turned into a puzzle with a clear goal in mind.  I can handle this.  I have a thousand ideas, but they are all crazy.  Maybe that’s what this situation calls for then.

“You are a telepath; you are reading my mind right now.”

“Good, good.  Wrong answer but at least you are thinking outside the box now.  Keep going, something tells me you will get it right on the third guess.” Chen states confidently.

“I’m dreaming right now.  I have been practicing lucid dreaming and this nightmare happened?” I say.

“Wrong again, but here comes the Eureka moment I bet.” He says as he leans closer across the desk grinning.

What on earth could he be getting at and why am I even humoring him in this crazy situation?  It just feels so rehearsed on his part.  He knows just what to say to keep the conversation going the way he wants it to go.  I got it. The Eureka moment is upon me and it all makes sense.  I look at him and I can tell he notices it on my face that I understand.  He relaxes back into my chair and nods toward the door.  He knows I was about to excuse myself.  Of course he does, why wouldn’t he?

I get up to leave without explanation and head out the open door to see Marsk.  He is waiting in the hallway listening to the conversation.

“General, I need to see the video footage of his break-in.”

The General looks stunned.  He takes a moment to gather himself and steps into the next room and invites me in.  He points to the monitor on the desk and directs me to sit down.

“Agent Keller, the security feed is ready to view on that monitor” He said somewhat warily.

This equipment is normally setup on the other side of the building.  He must have ordered it be set up closer so he could analyze it while waiting on me to get done.

“I was expecting to have to go to the security box for this, saves me a walk.”

The General looked positively shaken now. “I didn’t think of this, he did.  He wanted the security feed set up closer to your office to save you a walk he said.  I wasn’t going to comply with his demands but he named all my children and their locations and said they would all die unless I complied.  I figured, what could it hurt?”

My hunch seems to be completely spot-on.  I have to watch the footage though to make sure. 

Watching the footage I see Chen approach the first guard house at a jog.  They fire at him when he gets close and he flops to the ground immediately.  The guards seem to think they shot him and move closer to make sure.  Just as one turns his head to speak into the radio Chen lurches forward and pushes the muzzle towards the other guard as it fires killing him.  As Chen gets to his feet with a small rock he picked up and he slams it into the other guards temple and watches as he crumples to the ground dead. He then proceeds to jog towards the next guard shack as he awkwardly lurches about flailing his arms and feet and zigzagging back and forth as he goes.  On the monitor you can see bullets hitting the ground and other objects around him as he clumsily dodges them.  By the time he gets to the second guard shack they are out of bullets and are stumbling to reload.  He just breezes by them and proceeds to do the same tactic for the next two guard shacks. 

He reaches the Intel building without a scratch on him and enters hastily.  The feed from the lobby shows him sprinting towards Agent Keen and places one well-placed blow to Keens sternum as he nimbly slides his gun out of the holster and points it at Marsk who just entered the lobby from the side aisle.  He leads him down the path and the feed stops there.  It would take a human over a million tries to get that right and Chen executed it perfectly. 

I return to my office to tell Chen what he already knows is coming.

“You can travel through time.” I say as I enter the door.

Chen is clapping, he has an ear-to-ear grin on his face. “Well done Mike, I suppose you have one more question before I tell you why I’m here?”

Of course I do.  I have a protocol in place for this and just remembered now.

 About two years ago I received an email from Langley offices about some weird scientist in Hungary that sent a hamster 17 minutes into the future.  They sent the article as a joke I assumed but I looked into it; it was my job to study the paranormal after all.  The crazy thing was, I couldn’t really find anything proving the experiment wrong.  I emailed a couple dozen physicists and they all laughed but couldn’t give me an answer outside of “theoretically it’s possible, but highly unlikely considering we don’t have a power source capable of outputting the power needed for that operation.”  So I looked into it further and just couldn’t convince myself it was totally bogus.  I wrote up a procedure for dealing with the consequences of time travel and ultimately deleted it after I came to my senses.  But I had one idea that I thought was clever and decided to try it out on my new guest and see. 

“Chen, what sport am I thinking about right now?  I will tell you the answer after you tell me.” I said

Chen smiled and said “Hockey is what you are going to say but you are really thinking about something               else.  For the life of me I can’t get you to tell me what that is.”

Well that technique didn’t work.  I was thinking about the ace of spades but decided I was going to say hockey last minute.  That was my sure-fire way to identify a time intruder.  What a stupid idea.

“How do you control time exactly?” I say.

“I don’t know, I was born with the ability to go back and start any day in my life over as many times as I wish. “ He said dryly.

“How many times have you done this day over?”

“Hard to tell, I don’t keep track of time the way you do anymore.  After a few millennia of living, keeping track of time kind of becomes meaningless.  A rough guess would be about 3 thousand years or so replicating this day to get to this point.  I had to dodge 221 bullets without getting hit; it took a long time to get that right.  I also had to learn the Marsk’s kids names and all that personal bullshit about your life.  Killing agent Keen in one blow by snapping off his xiphoid process took years to make that happen right.  I guess I can’t give you an answer you would understand.”

“What are you doing here, with me of all people?” I asked.

“Well Mike, I have found that you are the only person on the planet that is in a position to help me and still be able believe what I’m saying.  General Marsk is completely incapable of believing my story no matter how much proof I give him and that pretty much goes for all the RRMC brass.” Said Chen.

I was flattered to be chosen and absolutely terrified that even after probably a thousand years of trying Chen failed to penetrate the bureaucracy and convince them of deviating from the protocol.  I guess I wasn’t really surprised when I think about it now. 

“Here comes the tricky part Mike.  In about 47.3 seconds I need you to close your eyes and jump towards me when I say.  All I can say is that the fate of 7 billion people depend on your actions and this is the best time to do this.  Can you do that for me Mike?  You don’t need to answer that, I know you will do it”

It was somewhat cathartic knowing that my actions were now being predetermined by someone else and all I had to do was exist knowing that I could do no wrong as long as Chen was guiding me.  Since I am aware of what is happening, this must be that last day when finally Chen gets it right and I should just obey.  Life doesn’t get any simpler.

“NOW” Chen says and leaps towards the guard as I leap over my desk closing my eyes.

I hear a loud bang as I crash into the wall and slump to the ground.  My ears are buzzing and I am disoriented. All I hear is buzzing and peer up over the desk.  I can’t do wrong since Chen would have fixed the day to make it right…right?  I see two guards blinded and confused on the floor or my office, Chen is in the hallway taking care of the rest of the guards posted outside.  He returns and calmly surveys the two guards waiting for something.  As soon as one guard turns to his back he stomps on his throat killing him and then uses the knife in his hand to finish off the other guard by stabbing him in the back of the neck, severing his spinal cord.  He has no emotion it would seem, just another day of killing the same guards I guess.

Chen beckons for me to follow him and we head out down the aisle towards the freight elevator at the end of the hall.  As I leave my office I see 4 dead guards and a dead general.  They appear to have been shot or stabbed in the base of the neck, all of them.

“The very first time I asked you to do that you complied except you kept your eyes open and we had to wait 12 minutes for you to regain your vision.  I am sorry about the buzzing in your ears but that will clear up once we get to the launch center.”  Chen yells.

Launch center?  We must be going to another base, this base has no launch capabilities.  Or does it?  Chen knows more than me I assume.  

“You are wondering where the launch center is right now.” He says.  He says it so confidently as we run towards the elevator.

“Well the search is over” Chen says as we get into the elevator. “This whole base is one big storage facility for decommissioned launch panels.  Except they don’t decommission them, they just refurbish them and place them in old command posts under the base. General Marsk has a key fob and I know the code for the day to get there.”

Chen places the fob next to the basement button and a panel pops out with a keypad on it.  He quickly enters the combination and the elevator sharply drops as we go swiftly down the elevator shaft. The ride takes all of half a minute and then the doors open to show a large room with launch panels on one side of the wall.  Chen uses the knife to pry the keyboard panel off the door and cuts the wires off the back. I assume he is disabling the elevator.  No sense asking really.

“Well we made it finally.” Chen sighs as he enters the room and puts his knife and gun on the table. 

 “I couldn’t get that key code for the elevator very easily so I guessed.  It was a nine digit code that took all of 28 years to solve.  I kept track because I figured you would find that interesting.  But here we are, ready to blow up China for the good of all mankind.” He said somewhat excitedly.

“Why?”

“In the year 2035 China will start a catalyzing event that will bring about the end of the world.  This is the only way to prevent it and save mankind.  Believe me I have tried other methods but this is the least bloodiest way to do it I believe, trust me.  Besides, if it doesn’t work I will try something else and this day will never have ended up the way it did since I would have never done it.”

Since I am aware of this day happening, it must be the best method or we wouldn’t be doing it right now.  I hope.

Chen goes to work at the panel, without warning a buzzer goes off and we see a GPS beacon on the panel show a red dot appear out of Egypt and head towards China.

“You launched a rocket out of Egypt from here? How is that possible?”

“This facility was never disconnected from the grid back in the late 70’s and has never received hardware upgrades to install key security software.  It’s a hardwire launch command right to the USAs missiles in Egypt.  It lost funding when the defense contract for the launch consoles expired but was never decommissioned because some senator’s nephew needed the base to stay open so his air conditioning company could continue to service and maintain the ventilation equipment.  Cost the taxpayers billions but at least Tom’s A/C service is thriving.” Chen said gleefully.

“So what happens next?” I say.

“Well China and Russia will use the launch as an excuse to send some bombs to the USA and total nuclear winter will wipe out about 98% of humanity within months. The rest of humanity will die over the next year.”

I don’t understand, this must be some joke he is playing.  It doesn’t make any sense.  This was the right day.  How could it go wrong?  And why did he need me for all this I just realized.  I haven’t done anything to help him.

“I don’t understand…”

“Yah, this is confusing for you I bet.  This all started for me in 2003, about 11 years ago for you.  I was playing out a weird life as a taxi driver in China and some a*****e stiffed me on my fare that day.  I replayed that day over and over again and just could not get that guy to give me my fare.  I tried everything, he just was so stubborn.  So I finally told him that I was going to blow him up with an atomic bomb if he didn’t pay me my fare.  Well, here we are today carrying out that promise I made.” Chen said.

“But I am aware of this day happening.  This is the way you die then?  You die in a nuclear explosion then?  This is how you planned your perfect life?”

“I can’t die, I have tried many times.  Every time my heart beats its last beat, time stops still for me and I have no choice but to rewind and try something else.  There is some combination of actions I have to do to get me out of my hell but I haven’t found out what exactly.  I have nearly achieved world peace in my life and I have ended all life on earth as well.  I have saved billions and killed billions.  I was bored so I blew up earth to settle an unpaid $14 dollar debt.  This is what I do with eternity.”

“Why bring me here, why drag me through this?”

“Why not?  I have spent the last 3000 years hanging out with you, repeating this day.  I learned all about your life and decided it was worth spending a solid day accomplishing something with you.“

“So when we blow up soon, this all starts over as you plan a different outcome for your life.  This all gets erased and I get to go to my s****y job like this never happened when you decide to rewind this day?” I say.

“That is one question I can’t answer.  I have consulted with the greatest minds on the planet about my predicament and they come up with two plausible scenarios.  In the first scenario my life plays out like you described; and in this one universe in this one dimension I control the outcome.  In the first scenario the world blows up, I rewind and you go to your s****y job tomorrow."

 In the second scenario, every time I travel through time I actually create a whole other dimension independent from any other dimension I have been to and life plays out in those dimensions with the decisions I make long after I have left.  In the second scenario you blow up and I travel to another dimension to try another life.” Chen says.  He is completely indifferent, the outcome matters not in the slightest to him.

“Why wait for the bomb” I say as I grab the Glock he left on the table in the launch room and point it at his head.

Chen smiles.  “See, this is why I picked you to hang out with today.”

I pull the trigger.

Reviews

[the reader]

I liked it. It was funny and I couldn't stop reading. Admittedly the end confused me a bit but I assume Chen was just messing with him the whole time.