A coffee for ist

   Damn, it's nasty, I thought.  The street was busy, as it has to be in the afternoon.   I was sitting in front of the café on a cane chair, holding a half-empty coffee cup. ‘Pessimist’ it stated.

   ‘Tall latte for…erm…pessimist’

   ‘ It’s me thank you. It’s just my sense of humor, never mind’

   Someone slammed the door, a ring bells. Have a good day, hope to see you soon. Some time after Denis showed up. I had given him a call before and proposed to hang around together. You need to spend your summer time somehow, and as my august is usually a melancholy, Denis makes things exciting. There wasn’t really anything for me to do at home, besides stalking a fridge and attempting to fix the internet cable. There were also broken vase pieces on the floor I couldn’t actually find time to collect.

   Denis sat next to me exactly at the same time I finished my coffee. So for us to literally have coffee together we had to stand up and get some more.  I was too lazy to leave my cozy chair I have already made warm.  Denis threw a quick glance on the ‘pessimist’ sign and grinned.

   He gave up smoking few days before, what must have been making him really proud of himself. ‘I gave up, bro!’ he yelled excitingly during a phone conversation these few day before, ‘F*****g fantastic, I feel great, you follow? Things will go well now, mate!’

   Now he was sitting in front of me and smiling.

   ‘Got a smoke, bro?’ he asked.

   ‘ You gave up, didn’t you?’

   ‘I found out on the net that you don’t give up something instantly. As it’s a heavy habit you can’t dump it that easy. It can ruin your mind, man. You got to do this bit by bit’ he looked around looking for some nicotine. There was an Asian girl sitting the chair next to us, sunbathing and smoking mint cigarettes. Denis asked for a treat, and she gave him one. I shook my head. What a yuck it is, this stuff.

   ‘May I have one as well?’ I asked.  She told me I was her guest. I smoked and the mint hypocrisy smell diffused in the air.  ‘ Thank you’

   The girl looked at us. I couldn’t guess how old was she. Chinese, I thought. It’s usually hard to guess the age of them, although I considered myself a professional in this field.

   Denis was having difficulties with his lighter, so he took at as his chance to sit closer to the Asian girl and ask for a light.  I always thought of this process as of something really intimate: a man and a woman share the fire.

   Girl’s name was Kim and she was from South Korea. That’s what she told us, well. She was waiting for her friend. She asked us who we were. We didn’t tell her we were students of a historical university. This usually creates a vision of some nuts.

   ‘I am an actor,’ said Denis, ‘and my friend is a writer.’

   Just for the record " Denis participated in a play only once: a long time ago, in a school far far away. He might play a tree or something similar, I don’t really remember.

   ‘An actor? How exciting. It’s hard to find an actor these days’ said Kim and laughed. She had very nice teeth. It’s not enough brushing it two times a day to have such a result, I believe. 

   ‘ It’s hard to find a great one, you know’ said Denis.

   ‘ Oh, you consider yourself a great one? Where do you star?’

   ‘Blacksky theatre’

   ‘Never heard about this one’ Kim stated. Neither did I. She turned to me:

   ‘ So you write.  What do you write?’

   ‘Stuff, you know. Nothing really now’

   ‘ Got a crisis?

   ‘ Not exactly…’ I have suddenly realized she’s been making fun of us. Till the end, then. ‘I’m not really working on anything now, but my last script about zombie-hipsters was a boom! They literally took over South Korea in it, intruding western culture and fashion. There are four different characters, whose stories are not related to each other at the first sight, but in the end they get together and…’

   ‘Sorry, must go. It was nice to meet you’ Kim stood up and went away. I saw her hugging a huge bold guy. He had a great beard and an ocean of charisma. They turned around and went the other direction without giving us a goodbye glance.

   ‘Hey!’ I shouted at their backs, ‘South Korea fought back! They won, there’s a happy ending, ok?’

   Denis and I sit a little bit more. He suggested playing chess, what resulted in his fifteen-step checkmate. Denis noted that’s my phone’s fault. Small screen, he couldn’t see a thing " sure. He finished his mint cigarette, and we went for an evening walk, looking for the God shaped hole. Near the Park we hit a friendly gang, consisting of our ex-classmates and some random guys. One of them was sitting trousers-less on the ground, legs crossed, smoking pot.

  ‘Wanna hit that s**t?’ he looked me in the eyes. His sheens were as big and black as coal.

  ‘No, thanks, I have enough s**t in my life’ I said. He shrugged and lied down, stretching at his full seven feet. This Turkish guy was actually huge. I wasn’t much lower than he was, but somewhere around forty pounds lighter.

   ‘Maybe a basketball game would improve the situation?’ Turkish has abruptly asked me.

   ‘Will you be able to run? Or let me turn it this way  - stand up?’

   He stood up.

   ‘I am a warrior’ he said.

   ‘ Lets do this then’

   ‘By the way,’ some ginger-haired guy called me, ‘we play ‘without a line.’

   ‘I love that’

   ‘For those who’re new in town’, Turkish yelled, ‘No line means no rules. One grabs a f*****g ball and puts it in a basket. As simple as your minds, got it?’

Turkish has always played rough, starting from school games. Guys I didn’t know played so too. Denis had been slammed and knocked out in the first 5 minutes, bringing him to the bench. He went after Turkish " lied on the ground and started watching the sky. Ginger came on me, but I was fast enough to grab him and throw over my head. Everyone’s s whistled.

   ‘Playing rustically, aren’t you?’ said Turkish, ‘Your reckoning is close.’

   He was running on me. Getting closer and closer. He simply went over the bodies of my team’s defense and threw the ball. I intercepted it, passed it successfully, and we scored.  Then " oops " we did it again. We started leading. Turkish was sweating and getting angry, spreading his raging aura. His team lost one person, so he was pretty alone against me and the other guys called Archy. Archy has never been a power lifter, so when he confronted Turkish he was simply buttered.

   ‘You shall not pass’ I cried standing on Turkish way. Surprisingly he didn’t stop. He ran on me on full speed, throwing my body in the air.

 

And the sun in the sky
Makes a shadow of you and I
Stretching out as the sun sinks in the sea.
I'm here without a name
In the palace of my shame
I said, love, rescue me.

 

I was flying. The seconds I was flying I was getting the meaning of life and the secrets of the Universe seemed clear to me. But I lost it as I hit the ground.  I heard the Jerusalem bells ringing. I have turned my head and saw Denis.

   ‘A thing must you understand’ he said with an empty voice, ‘is that you better continue without me. We stay here, but I may have a breakfast or lunch depending on the weather.’ A sweet familiar scent came in my nose " I lost a friend for this evening. Infernal junkies.

   My back hurt, as the whole body did as well. Turkish has been standing on one place, scoring one ball after another until he technically won. He came up to me and smiled:

   ‘ Blood for blood, you know. No offence, mate’.

   I stood a little, leaning against the wall and watching the shining sky. It started to rain. The last day of summer it was, and it was raining. I watched it, like if I could change it.  This all was sick and wrong. The feeling that you are wasted, and your time’s wasted, and none really did care. I became sad.

   ‘Thanks, guys, I’ll go.’

   I took someone’s bottle of water, stepped over the ginger’s half-dead body and left. I passed some building and came up to the river. I’ve suddenly realized I have got nothing really to catch at home. There was just a broken vase, lying on the floor for a month already. I usually ignored it and stepped over it. Have no idea why haven’t I cleaned it already.  I couldn’t? This is just ridiculous.

   I didn’t want to go home. I really didn’t.  A day, until it’s finished, resembles waves, that push you out of the sea. You puddle, splash happily, but these waves get stronger, more powerful, as the wind gets tougher, and you are finally pushed out to the shore. The warm sand foretells you this is the end. The fun’s done.

   I didn’t know why I did call the number I haven’t called for ages. It was the one I didn’t need as a contact as I always remembered it. I probably shouldn’t have done it.

   ‘Yes?’

   ‘Hi.’

   ‘Hi’

   ‘ Listen just listen. I don’t understand why am I calling you right now, as it’s just stupid. I had a terrible august. A terrible summer. I did nothing useful. I am lost. Some huge guy smashed me and while lying on the ground I realised all this. I realised I can’t do this anymore. The summer’s done, and I am like a ghost that can’t leave due to the stuff it hasn’t finished yet.  I need to do something, at least something that not alone. I really need it this evening. You listen?

   There was a silence.

   ‘I’m saying weird things, am I?’

   ‘See you’.

   I crippled to my flat. Closed the door and lied on the floor. I was two times wet " because of the game and the rain. It could be a good idea to change, but I fell asleep. I woke up as I heard the bell. She came really quickly, or have I been sleeping for hours?

I opened the door and looked at her. She carried an umbrella and a bag.

   ‘Thank you’ I said.

   ‘Take a shower, I’ll cook something.’ She shook the bag.

   What an idyll. I guess. I have felt better after showering. It’s like water have literally washed not only the body, but also what’s inside. Not the organs well, but still.

   My kitchen smelled food. It was spaghetti " simple and delicious. I regretted I’ve got no wine. We finished it quickly though, even without the good old red one.

   We were lying and watching the lights being left by passing cars running all across the ceiling. They looked like starts, and I even saw one falling, although I could be just tired. We kept quit.

   My mobile phone rang.

   ‘ Hey, ma. Yes, yes, I’m fine. Indeed I am. I was just sleeping when you called. It’s ok. I remember, I’ll water it. It’s raining, you know. Funny. The summer’s going to end in a few hours, ma. And I’ve done nothing really. All the same. Yes it’s just melancholy, hate it. I’m sorry to bother you. We don’t talk much, and I bother you with it. I will do my best. I will. It’s just the last day, and you believe in something, but this something doesn’t happen. I know I still believe in miracles. God, no, Santa exists, don’t tell me this! Yes he does, ma! Ok.  I have just expected something. But. Yes. It makes us stronger. You are right, I know. Thanks for calling. That’s just perfect timing. When I come back we will have dinner together. That’s great. Yeath. Can’t wait…’

   I forgot She was close.  I was talking about myself, and she was listening. I forgot. Suddenly, she hugged me with all her body. These little sparks sprawled all around my skin. Don’t trust one who says it’s possible to fully control your body. One’s pulse reveals the hidden under the calm face.

  ‘Ok, ma, I must go. I’m tired, good night. Night.’

   I hung up. A moment passed and she has looked at me. Differently. She asked me to turn off the light.

 

***

   I woke up and mechanically went to the shower. When I came back I saw the undone bed with no one inside it. I opened the window and looked outside. The sun was shinig and its glow refracted in the raindrops left.  There was still no one in the bed. I rubbed my eyes, but nothing really changed. I checked the kitchen and found my dishes untouched like someone knew where I keep them. There was nothing in the fridge, so I figured that I could still have some coffee and a croissant outside. I have been putting on yesterday clothes and trainers, when I have noticed that there were no vase splinters.  I forgot to step over them, but I didn’t get my feet hurt, as there was no vase. I walked around my flat and found it.

   It was on a balcony, where it had usually stood. I inspected it, but found no cracks or sights of a super glue. The vase seemed brand new, despite the fact it’s impossible. However, I could see it clearly in front of me, where it had been before I smashed it against the wall. I could realise why it was new, but when I went outside, I looked up and smiled to the first day of September.

   Damn, it’s so good, I thought.