Love Bites

A short, humorous account on why it sucks to be in love with a vampire. Reader beware: Cliche content is excessively high and may be hazardous to anyone with an IQ higher than a gnat.

Tears cascaded down her cheeks, blurring the image in the mirror, but that was okay because she hated the sight of her long, luxurious blonde hair that hung like a golden carpet clear to her trim twenty-two inch waist.  Letting out a wistful woebegone sigh, she turned away and caught a glimpse of her heart shaped derriere then burst into another round of tears. 

Never again would she experience the rapture of having his big, strong hands planted firmly on her tight glutes as he ravished her mouth.

Misery fizzled inside her like the effervescent bubbles of an alka-seltzer tablet.  She’d known all along they were never meant to be together.  Despite the raging passion that burned inside of her, she had to face the truth; a hemophiliac and a vampire had no future together.  It just wasn’t fair! 

She remembered the thrill of finding out she was just his type "B" Positive, but what difference did it make now?  Once he’d discovered she was a bleeder, he knew their relationship wouldn’t endure more than one love bite.  Even promising to take her coagulants religiously hadn’t enticed him to change his mind.

Drawing in a ragged breath, she lifted her chin with determination; somewhere out there was her soul mate, the man she was destined to be with for all time and by gumby, she was going to find him.  The image of Wolfgang van Stubenstein swam before her eyes and took a swan dive straight into her heart. 

Yes!  A slow smile spread across her tear stained face.  So what if Wolfgang was a bit of an animal, she could endure a few furballs now and then for the sake of true love, couldn’t she?  And she knew what attracted him so it wouldn’t take much to catch his eye; a few weeks of abstaining from shaving her legs and armpits and Wolfie would be all hers!!