to try is to fail

i wish i could be extraordinary
i wish i could be all that you need and want
i wish i didn't care
im only me.
grown up before my time
wild haired, green eyed, crazy
im tougher than i should be
im only what life has made me
strong and suspicious
pretending i dont have a heart of hearts
pretending it doesn't matter than the words dont come out right
that it doesnt cut when you shut me out.
that i dont cry over the simplest words you say.
i tried my best
and it wasnt good enough.
never said what i should've
scared that it wouldn't be enough, or that it would be too much.
i stand on the outskirts of life
scared to dance from the shadows
scared of fading away
theres distance in my heart
i almost had fixed it
but..you turned away too early.
i want to be everything
i want to be the one who can make all the bad things go away
with one kiss.
i want to be what you are to me.
i want my best to be more than good enough.
i want you to leave my thoughts, my dreams.
i want you to not be my drug of choice.
why did you have to trip me?
why did you have to stand out to me.
more than anyone had before.
you deserve the world and more.
why do i want to give it to you?
i'm not the best for anyone.
i'm even a danger to myself.
i cuss too much
i dont know what to believe in
the future scares me
the memories consume me
i'm just a girl
too young to know what love is
my heart can not be put into words
to try is to fail.