A Poem by kristollini

Friendship? Or isolation?


I resolved to change. I did.
I've always lacked self-control.

You know, I wish someone knew me like you do.
Someone I always saw.

I've never really seen you.

You could be a fairy tale for all I know.
A myth.
A bedtime story.
A fake. Not real.

Gosh, I hope not.

You consume my thoughts and I've fallen in...
In what, I wonder?
In love?
In obsession?
Into a carefree story?
Into a world where I can be myself without caring what other people think?

I really hope you're real.
I really hope we can meet one day.

...I really hope that I would wake up from this nightmare...
This nightmare where you are isolating me from everything around me.
I feel trapped, but at the same time, carefree...

I resolved to change, but I lack self-control...
...And this is where it's led me.

© 2016 kristollini

Author's Note

I wrote this years ago in reference to a guy I had developed an online friendship with. At the time, I found myself rushing to my computer to chat with this guy I had never even video-chatted with, much less met in person, so for all I knew, he could've been anyone besides whoever I thought he was through our messages. I came to realize how unhealthy my slight obsession with him was (it seemed as though I staked a lot of social interaction and emotional support on this dude, yikes) and wrote this poem about it to organize my thoughts/feelings.

I revamped it slightly just by throwing in more line breaks (it originally had no line breaks, so it was just a huge chunk of angsty teen poetry HAHA) for better readability and hopefully impact.

Let me know what y'all think! :)

My Review

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it is awesome!
a beautiful sound from a heart.i read a lot of poems about love and all in this writers cafe.but here for the first time i found a feelings without any constraint or complain for the loved one.And which should be!
thanks for sharing.

Posted 8 Years Ago


8 Years Ago

Thank you so much!! I'm honored to have written a poem that speaks to you :D Yes, this was very much.. read more

8 Years Ago

You are welcome :)
A heartfelt, openly raw piece many can relate to...written in words they'd use, too!
Good capture.
Thanks for sharing

Posted 8 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


8 Years Ago

Thank you so much!! I apparently channeled my teenage angst into writing XD Thank you for the read/r.. read more

8 Years Ago

You're welcome...keep writing

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2 Reviews
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on March 27, 2016
Last Updated on March 27, 2016
Tags: isolation, self-control, free verse, angst, friendship, thoughts, isolated, dreams, escape, online, Internet, poetry, kristollini, life




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