It's Barbie

.

If Barbie were real she’d have to walk on all fours,

IF Barbie were real.

Her body is not, never has been and probably never will be in proportion.

Working to attain her figure though is not my portion, but,

If you’d like a slice please feel free

to help yourself to a low carb, low fat, nutrient free temporary diet

from now till . . . eternity.

.

People acting like being pear shaped’s a problem.

Let me tell you,

my only problem is never being able to find jeans that fit

both my hips and thighs

Roll my eyes, change clothes and walk out of whatever store.

If only it was that easy to change people’s minds.

.

More than for males we females

Don’t woo men, we women

that possess the power, poise and prowess

to give birth.

And, rock

the cradles of our baby grower suited leaders of tomorrow.

Our real beauty exists in the sharp contrast we

Play against our perceived arch nemesis.

.

Ballerina Barbie, Ice skater Barbie

Ski, Barbie and the rest.

If Barbie were real, let me tell you that girl would be stressed.

Doubt she’d be able to deal with stretch marks.

‘Barbie’s new outfit now in maternity’

. . .and they conveniently, refrain from disclosing whether or not it comes with a sick blankie.

.

Maybe the baby’d help everyone see,

when Barbie’s baby daddy’s taken off with Skipper, Oh the humanity!

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What gets me is how you still see her bright eyed,

smiling ear to ear.

Her and Ken splitting after 42 years.

And we’re meant to believe she’s as happy as they would have her appear,

All I’m saying is that what they are doing to B just isn’t fair.

If she was real, she’d have been hooked on that white stuff now for years. please

.

But that’s all hypotheses

cause Barbie ain’t real

and if she was. . . on all fours

she’d more likely end up on a documentary on channel four

than get a man, cause real men prefer real women.

Pear shaped, small breasted women.

Big breasted, one side bigger than the other breasted, real breasted

sometimes insecure women.

Big bootied, tiny bootied, as long as it’s your’s and it’s cushion booty, then be happy beautiful bootied women.

Coz if Barbie were real, she’d probably have died,

So stop living white lies,

and learn to appreciate women like we.

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Author's Note

It's written down but it's supposed to be performed as spoken word poetry.