Clowning Around

A ten Minute Play

CLOWNING AROUND
Two women are sitting down at a table in a dinning room. They are friends and are awaiting the arrival and are talking amongst each other.
ANGELICA
Trisha, it’s about that time of year again. I love this time.

TRISHA
What’s so special about this time of year?

ANGELICA
My favorite holiday is coming up! Halloween! Oh Trisha, I still remember my Halloween from child hood. Me and my dad dressed up as Teletubbies.

TRISHA
Too bad your dad left you guys. Teletubbies don’t leave in times of need.
Trisha is a very ditzy but lovable character. She tends to say the wrong things at the wrong time.

ANGELICA
Yeah, uh thanks for that Trisha.

TRISHA
I’m just saying, Teletubbies hold a lot of responsibility.
Trisha looks away dramatically.
Why can’t we all be like Teletubbies.

ANGELICA
Okay that’s enough. Let’s talk about something that matters. Did you bring the stuff?

TRISHA
Yeah I got the stuff.

ANGELICA
She is going to hate us for this, but she deserves it after what she did to me last year.

Angelica looks as though she’s remembering a terrible memory.
Soccer balls will never be the same in my eyes.

TRISHA
Did you tell her what time to come over?

Just then the door is heard and in walks their friend Tory. The two girls pretend as though they were having a conversation as Tory walks in and sits at the table with them.

TORI
Hey girls.

TRISHA
Hey! Oh Hey girl, we weren’t talking about you.

TORI
(confused)
Oh, okay that’s good to know.

ANGELICA
Hey Tori. How was your day?

TORI
My day was actually awesome. How have you guys been? Heard any cools news lately?

 

ANGELICA
 I was watching the news and I saw this interesting report. Have y’all heard of-
TRISHA
OH! Of that new bacon
ANGELICA
That’s definitely not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about this... clown that people have been seeing around town.
Tori immediately looks up with wide eyes. She tries to hide it but her attitude has changed and she is fearful.
TORI
A clown? Doing what?
ANGELICA
They just say he stands there and waves.
TORI
So obviously this is a man with no day job or life.
ANGELICA
Aw come on Tori, maybe  he’s just having fun.
Trisha turns away from them and scoffs
TRISHA
(whispering)
It has to be Obama
She scoots her chair dramatically into the table, looks over her shoulder, and leans in.
Obama is out to get me.
ANGELICA
(annoyed)
What are you even talking about?
Trisha backs away from the table and throws her hands up in protest.
TRISHA
I’m just saying you guys, after I voted for him, I’ve been seeing weird things.
TORI
Weird things like what?
TRISHA
The mailman’s shorts have gotten shorter, some nights I can feel the government reading my thoughts, the neighbor’s dogs have been barking non stop. It has to be Obama.
Angelica and Tori stare at Trisha blankly.
ANGELICA
Why do you do the things you do?
Trisha looks at her with a confused look.
ANGELICA
Anyway, the news said that the clown appears randomly, and at random locations.
TORI
Why would anyone waste their time doing that? I mean, he’s going to end up hurt one of these days, because I know if I see his little a*s while I’m driving, someone is going to be pulling him from under that Tahoe.
Angelica and Tori laugh and Trisha joins in after seeing them laugh.
TRISHA
Wait you guys, does the clown do any harm to people?
ANGELICA
Nope, just reports of waving. Very, very creepy waving.
TRISHA
What if he hurts one of us.
TORI
Really? Clowns aren’t even that scary. Like I said, if I see him, my car would be a permanent part of his back.
TRISHA
Aw quit acting tough, you know if you see that clown you would cry.
TORI
Cry? Me, cry?
She lets out a loud laugh while everyone else looks at her.
TORI
I don’t do the whole crying thing. Anyway, let’s talk about something that’s not completely stupid and childish.
TRISHA
Uh huh woman, why are you so quick to change the subject. You’re scared huh, huh you scary little crybaby dumby idiot, haha you’re so scared you-
TORI
I’m not scared!!
TRISHA
Then why did you just blink? Oh I know why, it’s because you’re scared.
Trisha looks at her as if she’s said something significant.
ANGELICA
You’re on talking restrictions for five minutes. Just hush until then. Angelica, it’s okay to admit you’re scared. We all have fears. I for one am afraid of snakes, cats, and flat soccer balls.
TRISHA
I’m afraid of-
ANGELICA
I thought we agreed you wouldn’t talk.
TORI
You guys this is getting ridiculous. I’m not afraid of anything like soccer balls or snakes, and I’m definitely not afraid of some loser in a clown costume.
Trisha makes a gesture as if asking to speak.
ANGELICA
Go ahead Trisha.
TRISHA
I used to be afraid of rabbits up until a few years ago. The key is to face your fears. I held one and it didn’t kill me. It just kind of nibbled at my fingers, but yeah, we all have to face our fears one day.
TORI
(yelling)
How many times do I have to tell you potato mouthed bimbos I’m not scared??!! Now can we change the subject?
ANGELICA
If you say so, but I think I should be leaving now, it’s getting pretty late.
TRISHA
Don’t leave me with Tori, what if the clown comes? I’d have to drag her passed out body to safety, and I can’t lift more than 20 lbs.
TORI
Trisha, I will throw you out of the nearest window if you don’t be quiet.
TRISHA
I’m just saying. If my life is in danger, I want someone tough with me.
TORI
What makes you think I’m not tough?
Trisha gets close to her face and whispers.
TRISHA
(seriously)
It’s written all over your face.
Trisha backs away.
Wow your skin is less oily, what have you been using.
TORI
If you guys don’t stop messing with me, I’ll be the one leaving.
ANGELICA
Alright Trisha, leave her alone. We were just messing with you Tori, don’t get all emotional.
TORI
I’m not getting emotional, you guys are just being unbelievably rude.
TRISHA
No ones being rude, we’re just having a good time.
TORI
Fine. Are you still leaving Angelica?
ANGELICA
Yeah, I think it’d about time I left.
TORI
I think I’ll go with.
TRISHA
NO! Uh stay Tori,  I need uh.. Help with my geometry homework!!
ANGELICA
You’re twenty- two years old, you don’t have geometry homework.
TRISHA
(angrily)
You know my name, not my story.
Tori looks around in astonishment to get conformation about what she just heard.
ANGELICA
Both of you calm down! Gosh it’s like taking care of two kids.
TRISHA
I’m sorry, it’s just that Tori, I love you and I don’t want you to leave me. I hate being alone. I love you.
TORI
Ugh fine, I’ll stay.
TRISHA
Aww thanks scardey cat!!!
TORI
Don’t think I won’t change my mind on you.
ANGELICA
Alright I’ll see you guys later.
Angelica gets up and walks off stage. Tori and Trisha sit for a while in silence, then a strange noise is heard.
TORI
Wait, what was that?
TRISHA
What was what?
TORI
That noise I just heard outside?
TRISHA
I don’t know. It was probably Angelica knocking something over on her way out. She’s so clumbsy. You know she fell down the stairs not too long ago.
Trisha looks dreamily around.
I aspire to be just like her.
TORI
No offense Trisha, but I really think it’s time for me to-
Another loud noise is heard outside.
TRISHA
Is that Obama in my bushes again?
TORI
(angrily)
Oh my God Trisha shut up. It’s not Obama. We need to get out of here.
TRISHA
Just calm down.
TORI
Okay, it’s really time for me to go.
TRISHA
No, I’m scared, please don’t go.
TORI
Well I’m sc- nevermind. Let’s just go see what that noise was.
TRISHA
Why would we go to the source of the noise? That makes no sense.
TORI
Just please. It will settle me. Come on lets go outside.
TRISHA
I don’t know, I’m scared.
TORI
Come on!!
Trisha finally agrees and gets up, they walk outside and are close together looking around.
TRISHA
Wow, can you believe how dark it gets at night?
TORI
Uh yeah... I can believe it.
A noise is heard again.
TORI
Trisha, okay what was that noise?? I’m getting scared.
TRISHA
(loudly)
Did you just admit that you were scared??
TORI
Will you shut up Trisha??
TRISHA
You’re scared!!! Ha, Ms.Toughstuff Is scared
Trisha laughs while Tori tries to shush her.
TRISHA
Well this is bad because uh, I’m scared too.
Tori has broken down into hysterics.
TORI
I’m so scared. Oh if I die tonight-
TRISHA
-Tori let’s just go inside...
TORI
And I’m sorry for sticking that gum in that girls hair....
As she says that a clown pops out
TORI
(screaming)
OH MY GOD
TRISHA
(screaming)
It’s Obama!!!
Tori and Trisha begin screaming. Tori screams and tries to run but Trisha pushes her towards the clown whilst trying to run the other way. The two are screaming and trying to get by each other but are continually pushed by one another. The clown advances towards them and Trisha breaks away and runs off stage. Tori falls to her knees and begins ad-libbing how sorry she is about all the bad things she’s done.  Just as the clown is close to her, it pulls of the mask and it is Angelica.
ANGELICA
Got ya!!
Tori looks around with tears running down her face.
TORI
What the hell is wrong with you? Where’s Trisha.
Trisha literally skips in and strikes a pose.
TRISHA
You’re just been Trishaed!
ANGELICA
Yeah, pay back for that time you beat me up with  that bag of soccer balls.
TORI
Did you honestly just scare the pee out of my because i hit you with a sack of balls.
TRISHA
Oh I didn’t hear about that happening, I just know about the soccer balls.
TORI
Trisha shut up!
TRISHA
You can’t talk to me like that, I pranked you. You have no power anymore. You are weak like all other humans. Trisha has all the power.
Tori hurries to her feet and looks at both of them.
TORI
I hate both of you.
Angelica and Trisha burst out laughing at the look on Tori’s face.
TRISHA
Ha! Did you see her face. She was all like - AHHH
Trisha and Angelica laugh hysterically with each other.
I knew we could put this costume to good use one day.
Tori looks between the two of them laughing.Tori storms off stage without another word.
ANGELICA
(yelling after)
Aw, it was just a joke! Get back here.
Angelica and Trisha bust out laughing again. The end.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Sorry it's jumbled. I wrote in Final draft. Parenthesis are parentheticals.