In A Moment

A thought I had on my way to work, about how I had been tricking myself in a relationship i was started with a guy.

It was only one moment,

Perhaps it was hasty,

But it opened my eyes.

I saw for a second

The truth in my lies.

 

I realized that it really

Wouldn’t matter to me

If you were not there,

On the other said of our

Conversations.

I realized I wouldn’t care.

 

Maybe for a day

I would be bored.

Our constant connections

Keeping my mind

Explored.

 

But when I said something

I thought had offended you,

Something I really hadn’t intended too.

 

And my phone was left

Undisturbed, except for my glance.

To check for your name.

But those moments kept going

And my mind took

My heart to reclaim.

 

I noticed it then,

In the car,

In the rain, that

I could easily, at this point,

Say good bye,

To the allusions I’d coined.

 

But then it was there,

Illuminated,

As if the fates had intended it to,

Your name on my screen,

Defending you.

 

 

 The truth is,

I HAD been hasty,

Assuming your absence

As more then coincidence.

But it still threw me off balance.

 

And it was in that moment,

I knew it,

That right now,

I could push you from my thoughts,

And it wouldn’t hurt,

It would be easy,

It wouldn’t leave me in knots.

 

So the wall you were braking,

To try to reach my inner child,

It was now rebuilt

Because of one moment of guilt.

 

And now I won’t be so quick to let you in,

Because I am scared,

If I show you who I am

You will be despaired.

 

So excuse my disappearing act,

Because unless you reach for me,

I’m not coming back.