My nightmares are only real

It feels like there's a knife being shoved through my hand,
Like the knife shoved in my heart.
Feels like someone's messing with my head,
Like a needle in my brain
As I fall to the barren bed
That lies beneath me on it's rusted frame.
Now I don't know what to do.
Oh love, will we ever laugh again?
If I sing to you will you fall asleep,
And dream sweetly?
Shh, my love,
Please stop crying.
Just shove a needle through our skin,
And we can be okay again.
These memories that tourture you and me,
They won't stop unless we bleed.
But it's okay,
Anything to make it go away!
Sick and bleeding,
We are humanity's vampires.
Sleep the day and rule the night,
Eyes so sensitive to the light.
Voices whispering,
And skin like ghosts,
Pale and burning.
Souless shells,
Empty husks,
Blind-eyed dolls,
See what they've done to us?
Abused and used and left where we fall,
With rotting minds and white-scarred skin,
Our lives so full of sin
And so unrepenting.
Forgetting what we were,
Letting the memories fade,
Feeling so unsure.
And oh,
Just kneel down and cry again,
Trying to forget.
Just lie down and die again,
Re-living all your old regrets.
Just please don't say I lied again,
Please don't fade away.
Please just tell me that you'll stay.
And later, struggling awake,
Trying to shake the nightmare away
Just to find it real,
Staring me in the face.
And not believing when you say
In time we'll heal.

Reviews

[J.e. Doherty]

I like the use of changing colour in the text.
Blind-eyed dolls, - what an evocative image.

For a dark poem, this is very effective. I hope this is not one of your autobiographical ones.

JEDoherty

[Amy Widmer]

I can relate to the experiences and emotions behind the words of this poem.

[Nathan Strange]

I was moved by the whole spirit of the poem, it was so negative yet a harmonious cry from the soul. It's hard to move on from good times and I think this poem reflects that.

[Lola Nation]

This is a very spilling piece, full of angst, pain, begging, and pours out of the writer.

To strengthen the piece I would remove the word "and" from the beginning of any line. Ands are what writers use when they need an "um".

It uses all the words I hate most because they are so over-used that it's like reading a pair of fashion. Soul, bleeding, pain, they all get lost in translation to me. Common and bludgeoned by beginner writers.

You're stating so much and pouring it all out - without any breaks for instance I would separate this because you're shifting but the reader is reading as if you are just hammering words out like rain -

Oh love, will we ever laugh again?
If I sing to you will you fall asleep,
And dream sweetly?

Shh, my love,
Please stop crying.

I did like the pale skin of ghosts - that was a good description.

[S.v. Rincon]

I'm not even sure what else to say, I love it. The concept and set up & everything!