Best before six months

This is an exercise in descriptive writing. Please provide your comments and suggestions. Thank you.

She was kept on a shelf in a well-lit room. There were others pushed against

her, their skins brushing against hers for lack of space. Once in a while a kindly

gentleman or a mother with her three noisy kids would pass by and attempt

to release them from their misery. Each time she would hope the comforting

hands would touch her, choose her. But this was never the case. Someone

else always got picked and she always wondered why, were they cheaper than

her? Was it the layer of dust that lay on her after 2 months of waiting? Was it

because she was dressed in a sunshiny girl-next-door yellow and them in their

sophisticated, seductive reds? She never got an answer, but she suspected it

was the red outfit.

It was a Sunday morning when her luck changed. She was just going about her

business, looking stern and unmoving until she saw an interesting sight- a ray

of hope. A tall, gangling man doddered past twice as if looking for something.

The third time round, he paused in front of them and seemed in a dilemma

over whom to pick. She prayed that he would release her from the prison of

plastic that she was encased in. He looked at her just then, and the connection

was instant. She wanted him more than anything else in the world. Everything

went in slow motion from then on. His hands glided up gracefully, moved past

the others- knocking over a few in the process until she was in his hands. This

was the moment she had been waiting for all her life. She felt utter devotion

to this brown-eyed man whose soft hands had rescued her from the abyss of

expiry.

The ride back to his place after that was a happy one. He seemed content at

his choice and she, that he’d picked her. Back at his place, he made her sit on

the table near the kitchen counter. Everything was fine until the clock struck

five and he returned from an errand.

He burst into the house impatiently, threw his bag on the couch and moved

swiftly toward her. He looked at her hungrily. His eyes seemed hollow from

desire, his face-- tired. A chill ran up her curved, convoluted spine. His hands

quickly tore off the yellow plastic that was her attire. The thing she had always

loathed today seemed a safe house rather than a prison.

He lit the gas stove as she looked on in horror. The blue and orange flames

danced around the vessel of deadly steel. The soft hands that she had praised

now seemed to be that of death in disguise. She tried to cry out, but alas,

she was mute. Then, with a quick, loud snap he broke her into two. She was

shocked into silence. He repeated it. Now she was made four.

The water in the vessel effervesced and reached its boiling point. Everything

that followed this unfolded in a matter of seconds. He gave the plate he had

put her on a final jerk and she fell into the lava that was water with a tiny

splash, even as she yelled “Nooooo!! Now I...” her voice died out.

No one knows how the rest of the sentence would have gone; maybe she felt

her death by expiry was better than having to be a cooked meal. But for Tarun

he had a delectable, flavoursome meal. He was glad he chose Maggi over Top

Ramen. Two minutes was all it took for dinner to be ready.

Author's Note

Both maggi and Top ramen are brands of noodles.

Reviews

[semppu]

Very original concept which is very hard to accomplish these days. Especially enjoyed the creepiness at beginning. At first, it reminded me of the video "Blue" by The Birthday Massacre. Youtube it and you'll see the same vibe. Mmmm... sodium enriched noodles. Nong Shim's got the spice though.

[Anita]

oh yea, i forgot to mention, at first i thought you was talking about a doll so you may want to be a little more descriptive in the beginning.

[Anita]

wow... this was pretty good. the twist was fantastic! good job. =)