What is Wrong with Me?

Who can fix me?

Why does this sadness surround me?
Conquering my thoughts at all times of the day.

Its like a black smoke pushing its way under my door,
to the very depth of my sinking heart.

This problem controls me.

No one can fix it.

People have tried.

Everyone fails.

Its my own fault that this happens

I allow my mind to control my heart

When it should be the other way around.

I want to devote my happiness into something

I have nothing to devote my happiness to

So I lose my happiness..

Is that what is wrong with me?

Its not depression, they say...

Its not bi-polar disorder, they say...

Its not anxiety, they say...

Then what in the hell is wrong with me?

Author's Note

Excuse the grammar, because I currently just dont care.

Reviews

[Inject Positivity]

I had those tough and dark days.....So hard to find happiness when you question your own values.... poem with true words......

[jacob erin-cilberto]

went through a period like this back in the early seventies...it is when I started writing...good therapy...

[PoeticChico]

Nothing is wrong with you, or this poem!

very well written, i enjoy the flow of it.

I enjoyed reading this line:
"I want to devote my happiness into something"
Because you know that there is happiness in there somewhere. Very hopeful line. Cheers!

[RomaJ]

Powerful poem. That image of the "black smoke pushing its way under the door". A feeling that although can not be understood. You've described it vividly. A feeling that I am certain many have felt at one point or another. nicely ecpressed.

[surething]

Thank you for your review. I was actually debating on whether adding the black smoke piece, but most people seem to like it!

[RomaJ]

I'm glad you did. It's brilliant. Really captures that feeling and puts a "face" to it. Well done.

[Philip Muls]

Very authentic...I am sorry you are in pain.

You are struggling with difficult questions. But if you cannot label it, that is ok. You will find your way around it you will see. I 'd appreciate your view on my stories Angst and maybe the others.

[alifeacoustic]

Wonderfully capturing the pain of feeling that is not understood why you feel that way. It is an awful thing to go through, your first verse paints the feeling perfectly, Its like a black smoke pushing its way under my door, to the very depth of my sinking heart.
They are very good at telling you what it isn't, but not so great at telling you what it is.
The penultimate verse is truly wonderful and says a lot about the writer and who that writer should truly be,
I want to devote my happiness into something
I have nothing to devote my happiness to
So I lose my happiness..
Is that what is wrong with me?
Beautiful, heart felt words Surething.