Daddy'sless Little Girl

on March 14th of 1992

my mother lay in a bed in a hospital room

and as she got through the sufferring & got through the pain

a smile she soon got the strength to gain

for in her arms laid her first daughter

it's a shame everyone was present...except for my father

but a connection was formed,

heart to heart, soul to soul

as she looked in my gray eyes & named me

saleena nicole

in that one split moment i became her everything

"f**k him" she thought, she won't need for anything

but little did she know the impact it take

on my life growing up, the decisions i'd make

growing up with a single mother wasn't the bother

it was the fact that you never really wanted to be my father.

from the time i was born til this very day

i'd gon over & over on what i'd say

to you the day we'd meet face to face

20 years you weren't here & they can't be replaced.

it hurts, yes it does, but you'll never see

you never even called, no happy birthdays for me

no hugs no kisses, & yet you'll never understand

that it was you that made me feel unwanted by a man

how could a man ever want me when you never did?

always feeling unexcepted & alone as a kid

you screwed me up big time & you don't even know

& the wounds on my heart are the evidence to show

unfortunately those are the wounds that never really seem to heal

so i asked myself every night for 20 years "how will i deal"?

with the fact that you weren't there all my restless nights

my accomplishments, my goals, mother & daughter fights

you were suppose to be there to tell me yes

when my mom said no so i wouldn't have to stress

all my school performances & other things you were suppose to see

but instead no father figure stood before me

and after all of the resentment & hate i gain for you

i laughed at my stupidity, wtf would that do?

would it make me feel better?

but it did quite the differ

maybe that's why i picked up that bottle of liqiour

& maybe that helped make my desicion to smoke that tree

because the temporary happiness

made the pain go blurry.

& yet i still have found no solution

so walls i put up to clear the emotional polution.

but it just made me realize just how much of a bother

to me it was growing up without a father

& even through the tears, the pain, the reject i been through

i still have a yearn in my heart for you

to go back in time so that i can be your baby, your world

but yet i still remain

Daddy'sless little girl