Today

Beautiful days don't always end beautifully

Funny how

the person you'd take a bullet for

ends up being the person pulling the trigger on you

On this beautiful day

19 degrees and a sunny day out

my mood is instantly lifted

Spring is approaching

Yet my body of emotions

is left far behind in seasons

I am still trapped in the dreadful winter

merciless winter

Feels as if I'm being locked up in a dungeon

trapped by walls that seem to be only visible to me

On this beautiful day

I absorb everything around me

I observe everything around me

I feel this sensation of soft, thick grass beneath my knees

How I would love to lay down on mother nature

stare into the sky

and think about absolutely nothing

but I feel this sensation of soft, thick grass beneath my knees

Because I am kneeling down on the grass, on this beautiful day

I am blindly gazing at the grass

I am breathing through my mouth

I can barely feel my head

It is now

that I switch my attention from the grass

to you

there you were standing before me

but why am I kneeling?

you - this gracious being, the light to my day yet also the reason to my sorrows

you mutter the words "I just need a break from all this"

from your voice alone

I sense a heavy load of reluctance, a generous amount of sensible truth, and a hint of bullshit

by the time I have observed all of this from simply your voice

it was too late for me to as little as part my lips

so that I can (try to) reason out with you

The trigger is pulled

I feel nothing

I don't think anything

I don't do anything

I don't blink

but I topple over

my body - weak, drained, lifeless

my body - dead on the soft, thick grass

pulling the trigger was the crime you committed

Silencing myself on the other hand was the crime I committed

Author's Note

I would love to know what you think of this! :)

Reviews

[Frank]

This is wonderful. I very much enjoy the repetition of certain phrases. It provided a sort of melancholy to the beauty of nature. The emotions were very raw and powerful. Its quite interesting really; i could almost feel what you felt, this was probably because i can relate. I very much enjoyed this piece.

[Lianne]

Thank you, I appreciate this very much! I'm happy to know that reading this brought enjoyment to you. I was hoping the repetition of phrases could captivate readers even more, and to really bring them into the world I was in.

[Gurdeep...The Lost]

I realy like these lines : "but feel this sensation of soft, thick grass beneath my knees
Because I am kneeling down on the grass, on this beautiful day". Blending the calmness of nature with such an event!! great. Very impressive write indeed. Keep writing.

[Lianne]

Thank you! :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

been there, done that...

having that person do this...we think our relationship is going great guns...we are serene and sated..everything perfect..and then those words. "i need a break for awhile" which really means goodbye for good...and we are shot down--but feeling like the fool is us shooting ourselves..

we wish we had done that before he or she had a chance to draw on us.

[Lianne]

I agree with you completely. And I often wonder how can the person you love bring themselves to betray you. Reality isn't pleasant huh.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Funny how
the person you'd take a bullet for
ends up being the person pulling the trigger on you

and then the finale:

The trigger is pulled
I feel nothing
I don't think anything
I don't do anything
I don't blink
but I topple over
my body - weak, drained, lifeless
my body - dead on the soft, thick grass
pulling the trigger was the crime you committed
Silencing myself on the other hand was the crime I committed

I sensed that the beginning would somehow reappear in the lines of this one...yet the whole write just goes down like a slow burn...and the one line should be in all caps:

I sense a heavy load of reluctance, a generous amount of sensible truth, and a hint of bullshit

Just let's out the feel of it all...as a reader this was a good read...and gives you more than what you expect...in the lines...

[Lianne]

Thank you :) did you mean it was getting less interesting when you said "yet the whole write just goes down like a slow burn"?

[Glen Yumang Manese]

No...just the other way around...you conveyed this well...you're welcome...

[Lianne]

I see, thank you again!