static

This poem is more of an experimental piece for me, using very little punctuation and no capital letters anywhere, including the title. It's my take on what static sounds like.

tufts of glass

shattering, muffled

vintage vinyl

ripped, torn

velvet dresses

clinging, unsticking

thin plastic wrap stretched

beyond boundaries

of sound stitched together

with needles scratching

popping soft snow orchestra 

of absence hushes 

foam washing silence

dressing darkness

with patchy pitches

fading into stations

unfurling noise

Author's Note

Should I leave the commas in? This is something I've been going back and forth with for a while.

Reviews

[CourtniRenee]

Personally, I would remove the commas. Static is a constant sound, there are no breaks or pauses, no relief from the constant blur of noise. I think having the poem being a run-on rush of words will really help push the intensity of the poem. The words you chose are perfect, building fantastic imagery even as the poem centers itself around sound.

[Ash January]

That's what I've been thinking. Thank you! I would have replied sooner, but I didn't see the button to respond, haha. But thanks again, I'll definitely make those changes now. Those commas have always been a sore spot for me in the piece.