missing miss playful miss

I wrote this piece shortly after my house burned down, which was followed by a messy divorce. The bills piled up from both incidents, leaving me in a really bad hotel. These are the words I wrote

.i see in moments now i am blind from the past

the knowledge of my future is to much to grasp

these hallways are almost to much to take

someone happy walk through for f***s sake

someone with aspirations show me whats right

tell me its going to be ok so im not up all night

these hallways are ful of lovers and dreamers

they are full of moaners and screamers

counting down in numeric order to the end of me

and the beginning of something we both can agree

the lies wrap down around the center of your spinal cord

forcing you to say alot of things you cannot afford

this is the first thing since the beginning of a divorce

its not smooth, its not nice, its really coarse

i pledge my alliance and i divorce a catastrophe

with set reliance i divorced a plastic me

i played the fool until i won

just play it cool, until she is done

a mindset of constant overreacting

a radical regret that is content in lacking

prying my hate from my cold dead hands

and this is not the end of my goddamn plan

i am no longer your slave or your man

and i no longer have the pieces to play the game

I have been beaten, and ill never be the same