Numb

I can't think of my childhood

  without going numb.

Someone please tell me

   how I become

at peace

at ease

    because when I think,

of all the pain

    I bleed out in ink.

 But I'm fake

   when I smile.

 When I am alone,

   I sit in silence

my face is like stone.

I don't know how to deal.

I don't know how to feel.

I don't know how to make sense

   so that I feel real.

But I don't want to feel,

I would rather be scared

        I would rather pretend

that I don't really care.

                But I do

                and it shows

                so when I am alone

                I sit in silence

                while my heart turns to stone.

Reviews

[roniO]

Thanks for sharing. We all deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, especially children. It's hard but necessary to refuse to allow the memories to continue to tear us down even after the fact. You write beautifully. Thank you.