And Now, I Leave

And Now, I Leave

A Story by Nami Machae

    They told me I wouldn't do it. That they would stop me. But though the few tried to stop me, it was the many others that told me that I should that fueled my motives to keep trying. I had tried twice before, but had failed. I could feel it though, this time was going to work.
    The first time i tried, my precious escaping tool was water. I sunk myself completely into the eight foot pool and refused to let myself to come back up for the dead air above me. I not realize that I was younger and very naive. About thirty seconds of staying under my soon-to-be-bliss I started to feel strange. A once unnoticeable tingle in my lungs not ten seconds before became a full on burn. From my lungs it spread to the rest of my body. I was burning, Burning in water. My lungs screamed for me to go back up for air, and finally my mind took control for the air that it so needed. I came up gasping and coughing, the oxygen rich air now fueling the fire before slowly putting it out. I tried three more times, hoping that my body would eventually give in, with the same result each time. I finally gave up, going inside to contemplate my next move.
    My second time went better than the first, yet still failed my need to leave and never return. My parents had went out to a formal party at my dad's business company. They had said that they would return at midnight. Plenty of time to finish myself before they return. They closed the door and I watched through the window as the car lights grew dimmer and eventually ceased to exist, like i would soon be. I waited for about an hour to make sure they didn't forget something. I drew up a warm bath, making sure that it was body temperature. I would need it for later. I went into the kitchen, searching for a pen and paper, and my tool. I eventually found all three, and scribbled down a small note to my parents. Then took the large chefs knife my dad uses and cut horizontally on both my wrists. I then layed, fully clothed, in the warm bath water. There was pain but it wasn't completely unbearable. I watched as the clear water quickly turned the shade of the red liquid that escaped their enclosed veins and flowed freely out. I rested my head against the wall, waiting for my demise. I never noticed that my parents had returned until my mom was screaming, but by then it was too late. At least, I thought it was. I smiles and faded into a deep sleep.
    I woke up with bright lights hovering over me. I looked around at the overly sanitized room of the hospital. After that, I was on complete lock-down. Twenty- four hour suicide watch for months on end. Therapist appointments every week. They had locked up all the silverware drawers. I was "a complete flight rick" as I heard my therapist tell my parents after our first session. But everything was ok, it only gave me more time to thuroughly plan my next attempt.
    Finally, two years later, here I am. Laying on the floor, the bottle of leftover pills spilled beside me. There was no pain to this try, it was more of a nausea/sleep affect. The corners of my eyes are growing dimmer, my breathing slows along with my heart rate. I'm slowly fading away, but before I do. Tell my parents that the new note is on top of the dinner table.

R.I.P- Amber Nicole Michaels
1994-2012

The suicide note:
"I'll see you all in hell"

© 2012 Nami Machae


Author's Note

Nami Machae
I hope you all like it! I was bored when I wrote this, just like every other thing I write. Enjoy :)

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This is kinda sad, but really true for some people. Totally unrelated, but i think that when i die, i want people to update my facebook status to 'Hell has wifi!'

Posted 8 Years Ago



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Added on August 7, 2012
Last Updated on August 7, 2012
Tags: suicide, sad, worthless, nobody, killing, myself, failed, success

Author

Nami Machae
Nami Machae

You Wish You Knew, AL



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