Pick Your Poison

We were a horror story,

The stars never aligned for us,

We should’ve never met,

But we did.

 

A spark ignited our fire and

We blazed and simmered

And blazed and simmered

I can’t help but remember it like yesterday,

It feels so close,

You and me,

But you’re long gone, a million miles away

And I’m here, wondering.

 

Alone in that car,

I sold you my soul and my mind to the vodka

And I chugged,

While you inhaled two-thousand chemicals plus my poison.

Silence filled the space between us,

Because I wasn’t fooling myself anymore,

You were long gone from that moment on.

That silence never filled the hole in my heart

Or that void in your mind that made you believe I was never the one.

 

And I chugged.

I tried not to vomit, but the words poured out

“I love you, but I can’t do this.”

I couldn’t do the sinking, caving feeling in my chest,

That suffocated me every time I got out of that car.

I couldn’t believe that the one person,

I chose to be my person,

Couldn’t grasp I was their person too.

So I chugged.

 

Then you clenched

And you pushed

And you pushed me so goddamn hard against that door

It broke my heart.

I felt it crack,

snapping into three different pieces,

One for you, one for me, and the piece that for lost

Somewhere between all the yous and mes

 

And I chugged

Then you slapped,

My face burning as harsh as the liquor on my throat.

My cheek was pulsing since my heart wasn’t.

And I scrambled,

While you stayed silent, inhaling two-thousand more chemicals

But exhaling my poison.

My clothes disheveled all over my body

And nothing fits quite the same as it did before.

 

And I got out.

The door slams hard behind me,

And to this day I’m not sure who closed it,

Me or you.

I can’t help but think,

I closed the door on you.

Author's Note

Feedback encourage. I'm not sure if the lines are too long. How does it flow? Should I change anything for a better flow? How does it make you feel? Do you connect to it?