A conversation at the dinner table

A Poem by LisaButterfly

It was a moment when I felt my thoughts were drifting away
The present moment no longer a present but a stolen treasure
I found myself traveling to my past to find it
Then in my future to lose it
It is that self deprecating feeling
My voice no longer heard
My throat tightens
And the sound of silence is all I can hear
I listened
To them and to me
I felt a conversation was happening without having to breathe
So I took a deep breath
And fluctuated between reality and myth
Do I run away or do I stay?
It was a dinner table type conversation
If you know what I mean
About things to do with furniture and wedding plans
Online shopping and husbands
Then there's that Motherhood chit chat if you know what I mean
I was unsafe within that safety net
That girl who got forgotten
Because it was when lifestyles were wrapped within a home of cultural expectations
Beyond the thinking of outside that street where letters are collected
I was like a heavy cloud full of rainfall
Where those raindrops formed dew around my heart
My mind feeling the thunderstorm roar
And when a minute movement could have blown me away
And ripped me apart
But I stayed
And I laughed
And I agreed
Just to keep the peace
I asked questions when I didn't want the answers to
I collected the dirty plates and wiped away the moment that was had
That's what good girls do
It was a cloth but not the ones wrapped up in cotton wool
It was one of those cloths that had been washed a million times before
And as I wiped the table I waited for the thunderstorms and rainclouds to break open in the most unexpected moment
Like when an innocent coffee catch up becomes a tale of collected eyelashes from my cheek
So I take a deep breath
And remain there