can i truly be Done

the longer i wait the more lonely i feel, i don't know how much longer i can last. I have already started to regress into my old behaviors, my mind is filled with thoughts that have know real answers. my life has been just one big faliure, and my mind spinning out of control, somtimes i want to take that leap, swallow that pill, pull the trigger, my mind tugs towards the cool shimmering steel of my blade, i wonder whats going to happen time will only tell, as my mind strays away.