Waiting

Me waiting for a girl, getting impatient, then mad cause she didn't show up. then I am happy because its the last time she'll hurt me.

I sat alone in the darkness-waiting

For a girl who breathed into me new life

The dim glow of the street lamp was fading

As morning brought about a new sunrise

 

Maybe she's late and missed the final bus?

Sometimes I find they don't show up on time

Did she see the arrow written in the dust?

Directing her to where me she might find

 

That f*****g b***h has stood me up again

She prob'ly doesn't care she broke my heart

For she knows not of how my back would bend

To bring her light whenever it was dark

 

As I arise and dry the mornig dew

I smile knowing I can start a'new

Author's Note

Kind of stupid. I know

Reviews

[Riley Mistwood]

Not stupid at all. Very nicely done actually

[Brian]

thank you!

[Ees]

Not stupid at all. It is very relatable. we've all been there! I love the transition of mood to the point where you call her a "f*****g b***h".
and then you finish it up very nicely! You've relaxed and no you'll move forward.


In the second line I might consider rearranging with words. It is a little awkward the way that you have it.

nice work!

[Brian]

Thank you so much! I felt the same way about the awkwardness in a couple of the lines in there. It's something I'll probably have to come back to after I get a little more experience writing poetry.

[Corset]

A whole spectrum of emotions in this one, lol, at how one gets mad and fumes and says never again, till love calls and off we run to the bus stop.

[Rob]

There's a great rhythm to this poem that seems to carry itself along. I can also empathise with this, where the painful end of a relationship brings with it a sense of freedom. Nice job!